


you got me by my neck

by everythingiseverything



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Calum, Dom!Luke, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining!Luke, Porn With Plot, Smut, Sort Of, Stoner!5sos, Top Luke, anxiety attack, non consensual drug use, pining!calum, sorry I love weed, sub!Calum, theyre both stupid but it’s cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 15:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19231603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingiseverything/pseuds/everythingiseverything
Summary: Hearing the blonde say, point blank, they’re not in a relationship forces Calum to confront the emotions that he’s been wanting to hide. That he wants to be in a relationship, because Luke is the person he wants to be together forever with, because Luke is the reason he gets out of bed in the morning, because Luke is the inspiration for all of Calum’s dumbass songs that people like for some reason. It’s always been Luke, and Calum couldn’t have picked a worse time and place to realize this.In the middle of a random Friday afternoon at some place called Tootsie’s Burger Joint.Or the one where the band is back in Sydney trying to write more music for their new album, and being back home ignites feelings Calum thought never would have existed.(inspired by ‘A BOY IS A GUN*’ by Tyler, The Creator from his new album IGOR.)





	you got me by my neck

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!! I really hope you enjoy this fic! I’ve been in this fandom for a long time now, but I’ve never written a full length fic to completion! So, I’m really excited to present this to you since I’ve never written anything this long before. Please leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed, and leave any critiques you have! There are some parts that I’m still not fully happy with, but I feel like that’s just the process of writing a fan fiction lol; it doesn’t have to be perfect to be put out there. I might edit it later and republish and stuff. 
> 
> Anyways, without furtherado, enjoy!

“Faster, Luke!” Calum pleads, and the blonde man obeys. Luke tries to stabilize himself before trying to push again, and he smiles when he hears the happy squeal coming from his pretty bandmate. It’s late at night, so they didn’t have to worry about disrupting anyone.

 

This is a favorite past time of the band 5 Seconds of Summer before they got famous: pushing each other in shopping carts in an abandoned convenience store parking lot. With no one working inside, and no cars parked, the four men have the entire lot for themselves to goof off and have fun. Their friends were shocked that the band wanted this to be how they wanted to spend their first night back living in Australia. No big party, no management shin-dig, no kickback. Just the four of them having some innocent fun.

 

(That didn’t mean they didn’t smoke a blunt or two. Or five.)

 

The four men were very excited when their management brought up the idea for completely staying out of the limelight, moving back to Australia, and spending the next couple of months focusing on writing and creating more songs for their next album. They’ve been on the road and in other countries while they’ve written their past couple of albums, so it will be nice going back to their roots for this one. They hope that being back home will spark some more creative juices in them all to make this their best album yet.

 

Time hasn’t changed the men too much; yes, with time, a great amount of success has been bestowed on the four Aussies. Since starting the band at sixteen years old (or nineteen in Ashton’s case) they all have matured and grown from rebellious youngsters to rebellious adults. However, things like driving shopping carts in parking lots at 2 am is still a favorite past time for the men.

 

“Ashton, stop trying to kill me!” Michael laughs, gripping tightly at the cart when Ashton roughly drives him over another curb. The oldest man chuckles, shaking his head fondly as he runs back over to where Luke and Calum are. The bassist smiles wide as the two approach him and Luke, shaking the cart in excitement. The taller man grins before he presses his hands on the railings, on Calum’s own, to make sure that the man doesn’t cause the cart to topple over. Michael doesn’t comment on the look Luke is giving Calum; that’s none of his business.

 

“God, it feels so good to be back,” Ashton announces when he settles next to the two younger bandmates. A chorus of ‘hell yeahs’ follow, and Calum jumps up in the cart. Luke goes to wrap an arm around Calum’s waist, to make sure the high man doesn’t fall over. Or at least that’s what Michael rationalizes to be the reason.

 

“I know right! I just feel so… at peace? Yeah, I think ‘at peace’ is the best way to describe how I feel,” Calum smiles dopily, grabbing Luke’s strong shoulder to get out of the cart. Both Michael and Ashton watch curiously as the tall blonde grabs firmly at Calum’s hips to help him out, and his hands stay on his hips as Calum turns to face the other two.

 

“Living in London was nice and all, but nothing can beat Australia,” Michael snickers. He gets out of the cart himself, dusting off his bum before clapping his hands. “So, what’s on the agenda for the rest of the night, boys? Video games? More weed? Movie? Sleep?”

 

Before Ashton could say more weed, Luke firmly says “Sleep, man. Pushing this oversized puppy around in a cart wore me out.” His words sound harsh, but the smile on his lips proves no malice. Calum playful hits him, still staying pressed up against the taller man as he laughs.

 

“Shut up, you mammoth. Just because your gun show isn’t as great as mine, doesn’t mean that I’m too much to push around,” Calum teases. Michael notices how Luke goes to say something, but he shuts his mouth before he does. The bleached blonde doesn’t miss how the blonde’s hands tense around Calum’s hip, and he thinks he sees the Maori man’s face becomes a little redder. He looks over at Ashton, who gives him a look. They definitely are gonna have to talk about this kind of behavior.

 

Michael turns back to the two men, rolling his shoulders back before speaking again. “I don’t know, Cal, you have been snacking on those Lays chips a lot recently…” Michael snickers. Calum retaliates by sticking his tongue out. Michael, unsurprisingly, does the same.

 

“Shut the fuck up, Mr. Leigh, before I tell your wife that you’re bullying me again,” Calum mutters, raising a threatening finger at him. Crystal, to this day, still doesn’t understand how Michael and Calum can be so mean to each other without meaning it, so whenever Michael teases Calum around her, she tells him to stop picking on his best friend. Michael rolls his eyes and gives his oldest friend the finger.

 

“Speaking of the woman who has Mikey pussy-whipped, how is Crystal liking the new crib?” Ashton asks, wrapping an arm around Michael as they slowly start walking over to where they parked their cars a few streets over. The guitarist wraps an arm around the curly headed man’s waist, swaying to a made up tune in his mind as he looks back to see Luke whispering something in Calum’s ear, Whatever it was, it was making the bassist smile bashfully. It’s quite obvious there is something going on between the two men.

 

Michael completely ignores Ashton’s question, instead asking one of his own. “They’re definitely fucking again, right?” The drummer laughs before nodding his head.

 

“Most definitely. Did I not tell you I saw Calum hobble out of Luke’s room literally the night Sierra and him broke up?” Ashton agrees, keeping his voice low enough so the two younger bandmates don’t hear him. It’s not like they’re paying attention, anyways. They’re slowing down, and still whispering things to each. Michael and Ashton pretend not to notice and keep their pace steady to their cars.

 

“Holy shit, no! Goddamn, it’s only been what, like, a _month_ since they broke up?” Michael questions, and Ashton nods to confirm. The bleached blonde shakes his head, sneakily looking back at Luke and Calum. The blonde just gave Calum a little forehead kiss. _That’s so fucking gay_.

 

“They’re so fucking gay,” Michael snickers, turning back to laugh. Not that they’ll hear him since they’re so enraptured with each other.

 

“Hey, bro, you can’t say that. Do you not remember that one commercial with Hillary Duff?” Ashton says sternly. Michael scoffs, looking at Ashton as the drummer glares at him

 

“Ash, do you not remember how I’m bi? Us queer people can say things are gay. It’s like how I can make fat jokes about myself and other fat people, but I would punch you in the face if you ever made one, straight, skinny boy,” Michael responds, reflexively giving Ashton the peace sign. Those damn kids that run up to them to get photos always throw the peace sign, and now Michael can’t stop.

 

“Okay, sure… you’re not fat to begin with, but okay…” Ashton murmurs, and Michael rolls his eyes. “Still, neither of them are gay, right? And, like, they’re not… _dating_ … right?” Ashton whispers, scared that the men will overhear him and Michael gossiping about them. They finally make it to where Michael, Ashton, and Luke parked. Michael shakes his head, muttering a ‘no,’ hoping that Calum would tell him of all people that he started dating Luke.

 

Back in the band’s beginning, when all of their sexual awakenings were happening at the same time, Calum and Luke often went to each other to release sexual frustration and curiosity. Michael understood why they kept it a secret, and both him and Ashton never commented on their very shitty excuses of why Calum has a limp, or where did that bruise on their necks came from. Being queer wasn’t nearly as accepted in the music indsutry as it is now; their first manager straight up told them that none of them better come out or be caught in a gay scandal because they would be immeidately dropped.

 

However, it’s 2019, they have a way better manager, and being queer is cool. Why are Calum and Luke still trying to hide the fact they’re fucking?

 

The two finally catch up with Michael and Ashton, and now they’re separated. Interesting.  

 

“So, noon song writing session tomorrow? Malum and Lashton?” Ashton reminds them all. The other three men groan, and the drummer rolls his eyes. “C’mon, guys, it’s just, like, three hours!”

 

“Three hours? Of my precious Thursday afternoon? This is biphobic,” Michael insists, earning a chuckle from Calum and a weary look from Ashton. It’s Michael’s turn to roll his eyes. “It’s a joke, Ashton. Stop getting your little panties in a twist.”

 

“Shut the fuck up, Michael,” Ashton laughs and punches the guitarist. Michael yelps out, dramticaly cradling his arm. He stops after a few seconds, walking over to his car and unlocking it.

 

“Okay, well, this was fun. Wanna do this again tomorrow night?” Michael asks as he starts getting into his car. The other three eagerly nod, Ashton getting into his car, and Luke and Calum drifting over to where Luke parked.

 

“Definitely, dude. Tell Crystal hi for me!” Calum says, with Luke agreeing with him. They stand up against the side of Luke’s car, watching as the older two start to buckle in.

 

“Okay, goodnight guys! Sleep well!” Ashton calls out before shutting his door. He quickly drives away, obviously tired and wanting to go to bed. Michael snickers, turning back to Luke and Calum. He gives Calum a sly wink.

 

“Goodnight to you, too. Be sure to make it to your writing session,” He says cryptically. He shuts his car door, turning on the ignition. As he drives off, he looks in his mirror, only to see Luke pressing Calum up against his car. He wants to honk his horn, alerting the two men that he sees them. He wants to see them get all flustered.

 

But, then again, Michael has to remind himself.  That’s none of his business.

 

~~~

 

Only seconds had passed since Michael and Ashton drove off once Luke shoves Calum up against his car, planting his hands on his wide hips as he roughly kisses the older man. Calum gasps into the kiss, but he readily accepts it. The bassist moans as he wraps his toned arms around the blonde’s neck. Luke wastes no time before shoving his tongue down the bassist’s throat and slotting his crotch against Calum’s. The tan man grips at the little hairs at the nape of Luke’s neck as their already half-hard erections brush against each other. In these suburbs of Sydney, cloaked in the darkness of night, the two men can be free in their expression of intimacy and sexuality. They didn’t need to hide the lust they harbor for one another on this warm summer night.

 

“Still wanna go back to my place?” Luke mutters against Calum’s plush lips. He can’t help himself when one of his large palms finds a place on Calum’s ass, squeezing one globe like he has all the right in the world to. And Calum lets him, pushing his bum back into the hand as he nods. He dives back into making out with his bandmate, keeping him close as he tries to roll his hips into the hand and against Luke’s crotch. “Fuck, Cal,”

 

“God, need it so bad, Lukey. Been thinking about you inside me all day,” Calum whines as Luke trails kisses down his sharp jawline to his Adam’s apple. Luke groans, the words spurring him on to punch his hips against Calum’s. This causes his dick to rub up roughly against Calum’s, and the shorter man moans in encouragement. Luke brings his other hand down from Calum’s back to his ass, slipping into the man’s short shorts. He slips his other hand in as well, and Luke starts kneading both ass cheeks through the man’s thin briefs.

 

“Me, too, baby. Seeing you all hot and sweaty from moving kept getting me so hard,” Luke murmurs into the man’s ear before he bites at the shell. Calum whimpers as he tightens his grip on the blonde’s shoulders. The two mans continue desperately moving against each other, moaning and licking into each other’s mouths.  

 

Calum finally breaks their make out session once Luke decides to shove his hands down Calum’s underwear, a finger briefly grazing over his puckered hole. “Lukey, please - take me home.”

 

Luke looks deep into Calum’s half-lidded eyes, his brown irses clouded with pleasure. A predatory grin graces the blonde’s face before he whispers “Sure thing, love.” The blonde fumbles to get his keys out of his pockets, still pressed up against Calum as he unlocks his car. As the gentleman he is, Luke opens Calum’s door for him, before he quickly runs to the other side of the car. The blonde scrambles to get the key into the ignition, and Calum is no help as he starts kissing at Luke’s neck.

 

“Cal, babe, please, just wait like five minutes,” Luke begs, not wanting to get into a car crash. Calum ignores him, as expected, as one inked up palm reaches down to grope at Luke’s growing bulge in his gym shorts. The blonde can’t help the growl that escapes his throat. “Calum, I’m only asking you this one more time. Wait, baby.”

 

The tan man whines against Luke’s jaw, his hand still squeezing at his bandmates crotch. “Please, Lukey, it’s not like we haven’t done it in a car many times before,” Calum protest. He can’t help himself from being difficult. This whole night with the men has been filled with sexual tension between the two of them, and it has put the shorter man in a very needy position. He briefly hopes that it wasn’t too obvious to Michael and Ashton.

 

“Calum, I don’t want to fuck you in the back of my car, tonight. I want the whole thing,” Luke murmurs, not being able to stop himself from licking into the man’s mouth. He tries to not think of the rush of the blood that is sent to his cock when Calum whimpers into the kiss. “I wanna fuck you, and rim you, and have you ride me, and make you cry from cumming so much. So, let me drive us back to my house so I can fuck you properly.”

 

Calum gasps into the kiss, letting the blonde fuck his tongue into his willing mouth. “Why can’t we do both…” Luke rolls his eyes, giving him one last peck before starting the drive.

 

“Because, babe, I don’t want us to end up falling asleep in the back of this damn car after we fuck like we did that one time,” Luke mutters, shuddering at how awkward it was when some random woman knocked on their car window several times to wake them up because they were still parked in front of her house. His grip on the steering wheel is deathly as he begins the drive back to his house. Taking deep breaths, Luke manages to drive correctly on the road, obeying speed limits and using his turn signals when appropriate. He tries not to focus too much on how Calum is squirming in the passenger seat, his dick obviously hard in his tiny little shorts that drives Luke absolutely mad.

 

“Lukey, please, hurry,” Calum whines again, turning to look at the blonde with desperation in his big brown eyes. Luke almost loses control at that, always a sucker for Calum’s begging. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck_ , Luke repeats to himself as he gets harder and harder in his own basketball shorts. _Don’t stop the car and fuck Calum now, Luke. You are stronger than that. He deserves to be taken in a bed right now._

 

After a few more painstaking minutes, Luke finally drives up to his house, quickly pressing the button to unlock his garage door. He pulls in quickly, his parking bad as he presses the button again to close the door behind. Both him and Calum stumble out of the car, running into the house with adrenaline and horniness running through their veins.

 

It’s a mad dash to get to Luke’s bedroom on the second floor, Calum tripping a few times and Luke keeping his laughter to himself. Once they make it into Luke’s room, he ceremoniously shoves Calum against the nearest wall and restarts their make out session. He’s roughly pulling at Calum’s shorts and underwear, trying to get the brunette naked as soon as possible. The brunette moans into the kiss, trying to help Luke as he tries to help get himself out of his shorts. It proves to be difficult as Luke can’t help himself from groping Calum’s bum, so the tan man begrudgingly unwraps himself from the blonde and strips himself down, throwing his clothes carelessly to the side as he attacks Luke again.

 

The blonde tries not to get annoyed at the fact that now his room will be messy from Calum’s carelessly thrown clothes, and it proves to be easy once he can now grab at his wonderful ass without any pesky clothing in the way.

 

(Not that Luke will ever, _ever_ , admit it, but he has written songs about how much he loves Calum’s ass. He’s always had a nice bum; even when they were all skinny and preteens, Calum still had a little junk in the trunk. It has only gotten bigger and perkier throughout the years, now looking like the Maori man shoved two basketballs down the back of his pants.)

 

His tongue is working its way into Calum’s mouth as he squeezes the globes, feeling the soft, hairless skin there as they rub up against each other. Calum whines, his dick getting harder and harder as the blonde man plays with his ass. He can’t help but moan when one hand slips in between the cheeks to thumb at his hole, and the other hand spanks him. His dick is now fully hard, pressed up tightly against the mesh fabric of Luke’s shorts.

 

Luke groans into Calum’s mouth, not being able to stop himself from spanking the tan globe again. “God, Cal, baby, always so responsive for me,” he admires, moving his lips against the Maori’s own plump ones. The bassist lets out a string of high pitched moans as Luke continues to spank him, as well as wiggling one finger into his hole.

 

“Fuck yes,” Calum murmurs into the kiss, arching his ass up onto Luke’s finger as his ass is massaged. “Lukey, please, can I blow you? Want you in my mouth so bad…”

 

Blood immediately rushes south, Luke undeniably hard as he groans loudly. The blonde nods hastily as he removes himself from Calum’s body despite the whine of disapproval from the Maori man. He shoves his shorts and boxers down, freeing his aching cock as he steps out of the clothes. He can barely start to pull of his shirt when Calum is already on his knees, gripping at the base of Luke’s hard dick. The blonde can’t help the surprised gasp that comes out his mouth when the tan man starts sucking, licking at the head of his cock expertly.

 

“Fuck, Cal, so desperate for my cock, can’t even wait for me to get properly undressed,” Luke mutters as he caresses the back of the brunette’s head, guiding him up and down on his cock. Calum moans around the blonde’s member, loving the weight of it on his tongue and in his mouth as he goes farther and farther down. He stares up at the taller man, for he knows Luke loves seeing Calum down on his knees like this.

 

Suddenly, Calum forces himself all the way down the shaft, his nose getting buried in Luke’s pubes as he gags around the cock. The older man relishes in the shocked gasp and loud growl that Luke emits, and he doesn’t even care that his eyes are watering up. He loves getting such an intense reaction from the blonde. He feels the member twitch in his mouth, and he continues to gag around it as the blonde’s hands curl into his hair. The bassist suddenly is pulled off, causing him to cough and more tears to appear in his eyes. He looks up confused Luke.

 

“Dammit, Cal, already making me almost cum and we’ve been at it for about ten seconds,” Luke mutters before he switches them around, shoving  Calum against the wall and gripping his curls tightly to keep his head in place. The brunette whimpers, his scalp aching from the pain as pleasure simultaneously courses through his body. He slowly enters Calum’s mouth again, now having all the control in this scenario. Despite him enjoying being a little shit, the bassist also likes when Luke completely controls him like this; trapped against the wall, his hair gripped by his large lands, his mouth forced open as Luke thrusts his cock in and out of the opening at the pace he wants. Notwhat Calum wants.

 

“Yeah, you like me controlling you? I can see how fucking hard you are, baby,” Luke notices, one hand now moving to cup Calum’s jaw to keep it even more open. He can see how the bassist’s cock pathetically twitches now that Calum is forced up against the wall. The brunette whines, his face scrunching up as Luke reaches the back of his throat with his cock. He grips at the blonde’s hips to stabilize himself because his whole world feels like it’s spinning. Luke tries not to hesitate, since he knows that Calum knows what their signal is if this is too much for him. Luke may sometimes like to act like he doesn’t care about how Calum is feeling, but he really does.

 

(Sometimes, he thinks a little too much.)

 

Luke lets his eyes flutter as he lets the pleasure of Calum blowing him wash over his body. He feels it from his toes to the tips of his ears, and he can’t help himself from thrusting faster into the man’s willing mouth. He groans loudly, stroking fondly at Calum’s chin and petting softly at his curls as the boy continues to suck and gag around his cock. “Fuck, so good, baby. Such a good boy for me.”

 

Luke knows Calum is a sucker for being called a good boy, and he feels the proof when the boy moans around his cock, sending vibrations through the taller man’s whole body. “Yeah, you like being praised? Like being told how much of a good slut you are for me?” Luke says, and he knows he’s in for a wild night because Calum absolutely keens at the world slut, crying out around Luke’s shaft and digging his nails into the man’s thighs. Luke knits his eyebrows together as the Maori man tries to sneakily bring a hand down to his own very hard and very much leaking prick.

 

“Bad boy,” Luke growls, taking Calum off of his cock as he glares down at him. The bassist looks up at the blonde with guilty eyes despite his hand squeezing his prick.

 

“Lukey, please, hurts so much-” Before Calum can finish his plead, Luke grabs him by his hair and pulls him up, eliciting a loud cry from the Maori man. The blonde shoves him towards the bed, and Calum helplessly falls onto it face forwards. Luke groans as he stalks over to the older man, his tan ass jiggling as he bounces up off the mattress from the force he was shoved with. The guitarist can’t help himself when he slams his palms down on the round globes, enjoying the shocked whine that passes by Calum’s wet lips.  

 

Luke takes off his shirt, also throwing it to the side and ignoring the impulse to fold it up and put it away. He has one Calum Hood he needs to fuck right now before his dick explodes. His hands find themselves on the tan cheeks again, spreading them apart so Luke can see his pretty pink hole. It winks back at him, clenching around nothing in desperation as Calum whines in Luke’s hold.

 

Luke is no better as he growls, dipping down to lick hotly at Calum’s hole. He moans at the taste, so uniquely Calum that he can’t get enough. He hungrily continues to lap at the hole, keeping his grip on the globes tight as the brunette starts to moan and squirm. He bounces them in his hands, feeling them around his face as he eats Calum out.

 

“Fuck!, F-fuck! Fuck, Luk- Fuck!” Calum whimpers, always a slut for getting rimmed. He can’t help his body from quirming on Luke’s bed, his hard cock leaking profusely onto the sheets as Luke’s tongue digs deep into his hole. He can’t help the desperate pleas that come out of his mouth when Luke removes his tongue, just thumbing at his hole and admiring the pretty opening instead of licking into it.

 

The blonde pats his ass twice, getting up and moving up the bed. Calum looks at him wide-eye, his mouth wide open as drool start to come. “L-l-luke, wh-what the fu-uck?”

 

He smiles, glad to see how wrecked Calum is just from getting rimmed. “Sit on my face, baby. Wanna make you cum from it.” He scoots down the bed so he’s laying flat, with just enough room around him for the Maori man to sit on his face. Even though he’s no longer looking at his brunette lover, and instead staring at the ceiling, he can hear the dramatic gasp escape his pretty mouth, before he hears scrambling. Suddenly, his face is filled with Calum’s ass, which he has no problem with.

 

He parts the cheeks with his hands, as Calum settles down on his face, his knees bracketing each side of Luke’s chest. He licks, he licks deep, he licks until he’s sure he’s licking at Calum’s prostate because of the symphony of beautiful noises coming out of the bassist’s mouth.

 

“Oh, oh, oh my god, Luke!” Calum gasps, falling forward and resting his hands onto the bed so he doesn’t complete topple over. Luke grabs onto Calum’s hips, making sure that the boy stays trapped on his tongue. To further along the process, because he’s achingly hard tasting Calum like this, he fumbles his hand around to find Calum’s weeping cock, the member twitching in his hand immediately.

 

“Yeah, you like that, babe? You like me eating out your pretty little ass?” Luke murmurs sloppily against Calum’s hole. The Maori man moans in response, rocking back onto Luke’s tongue and trying to fuck into his fist. The blonde smirks into the opening, before he continues to fuck his tongue in and out of the stretched muslce. He’s just as much of a sucker for rimming Calum as Calum is for getting rimmed. He’s still achingly hard right now, and he bets if he were to pull his hands away from the brunette’s pretty little body, he could cum from eating the man out while jacking himself off.

 

However, he’s more focused on making Calum cum. He wants to experience completely emptying out Calum again. Even though it’s only been a week since they’ve last done it, Luke loves seeing the Maori man be so pliant and helpless when he’s squirming away from Luke’s hands as he’s trying to pull another orgasm from his body. So, the taller man needs to start now.

 

“Lukey, feels so, so good!” Calum whimpers out as he continues to ride the tongue, the pleasure he gets from it making his head swim. He feels a very familiar intense heat form at the pit of his stomach, and he can feel his toes curling as his orgasm is starting to approach.

 

Luke can tell the other man is about to cum; from his cock twitching in his palm, to how his breath is htiching, to how he’s clenching around his tongue, Calum has about a minute before blowing his load. The blonde briefly considers whether or not to tease him; to squeeze the base of his cock right when he’s about to cum to stop him or just let him cum. He decides on letting him cum because he wants Calum to already have one orgasm when they start fucking.

 

“C’mon, baby, I can feel it, cum all over my fist for me,” Luke murmurs sweetly against Calum’s hole, and the whine he gets in response makes him even more desperate to make him cum. He jacks the brunette’s dick off harder, and he grips tighter at his hips to force him back more on his tongue. He smiles when a string of whimpers and pleads start spilling from Calum’s lips, and before he knew it, the brunette is spilling all over his hand. The chorus of loud moans erupt from the bassist as he cums, seeming like he is pure ecstasy to Luke, and he could listen to it for hours if it was possible.

 

After what feels like minutes, Calum finally is done with the aftershocks of cumming, and he starts to slide forward. Luke knows that his body is very loose and weak at the moment, so he carefully tries to maneuver Calum onto his stomach onto the bed while not getting his cum everywhere, or rubbing his own dick against anything because he was going to bust a nut if he gets any friction right now.

 

He finally gets Calum comfortably on his stomach on his bed after a few minutes, and Luke looms above him with a possessive look in his eyes. The bassist’s eyes are closed in a post-orgasm bliss that Luke now has been able to recognize. Because he can’t help himself, he leans forward a bit, his body still not touching Calum’s, and shoves his cum-covered fingers into the man’s open mouth. He briefly chokes on them before he starts sucking, eliciting a groan from the fingers’ owner. Luke watches with a lustful gaze as Calum obediently cleans up his hand of his own cum, and his pretty doe eyes flutter open to stare back at Luke.

 

The blonde is a weak, weak man, and he can’t help the growl that escapes his throat when he forcefully removes his fingers from the bassist’s mouth and pounces on him.

 

Now on top the the shorter man, Luke pins his arms down to the bed as his cock slides in between the tan cheeks of his brunette bandmate. Luke doesn’t miss the needy whine that claws its way out of Calum’s throat as he starts sucking on the tan column, leaving more hickies than there were already.

 

“God, fuck, Lukey, please!” Calum moans as the blonde’s cock catches on his already stretched hole. They fuck enough at this point where Calum often doesn’t need to be prepped, and he has forced himself to have better hygiene and a better diet so he was always clean down there. All that needs to be done right now is for Luke to shove his goddamn dick into Calum!

 

“I don’t know, baby. You’ve been pretty defiant all day. Complaining about helping me move, calling me weak, touching yourself when you know you’re not supposed to,” Luke growls into Calum’s ear. He can’t help himself from thrusting his hips against Calum’s ass, and rubbing his dick against his hole. He ignores the whimper that escapes the brunette’s mouth, angling forward so he can kiss the sweet, plump lips. After a few seconds of desperate kissing and sloppily making out, Luke continues. “Feel like I should just jack off on your ass and call it a night.”

 

Calum rapidly shakes his head as he rolls his hips back against Luke, looking up at him with pleading brown eyes. He doesn’t treat this as an empty threat because the blonde has done that exact thing before. “Lukey, no, you, you can’t leave me like this! I-I'm sorry, so sorry, I’ll be your good boy from now on!” He begs, his eyes fluttering shut when Luke slightly presses in with the head of his dick. Luke stills with only the head inside of Calum as both of them groan loudly at the sensation. Calum tries to throw his ass back onto Luke’s cock, but the blonde grips tightly at his hips and has only the head back in again. “Luke, please!”

 

“God, so fucking needy for me, baby. You need me to fuck you? Need me inside you?” Luke murmurs into Calum’s ear, licking and biting at the shell. It’s taking an incredible amount of self restraint to already be slightly inside of Calum, and not start fucking him wildly, but seeing how desperate he’s making the brunette is making it all worth it. He absolutely keens at Luke’s words, squirming around and trying to fight against the hold Luke still has on both wrists.

 

Then, like clockwork, when Calum looks back at Luke, ready to plea for the blonde to just fuck him already, he notices tears welling up at the corners of the bassist's pretty brown eyes. Luke can’t help but smirk. This is always the highlight of his day; if he can get his brunette lover to cry tears of pleasure and desperation, Luke knows he’s doing something right. And he can’t let out the animalistic growl that erupts from his throat as he suddenly forces Calum to get on his hands and knees, and he shoves himself all the way into Calum.

 

The Maori man absolutely howls, his eyes scrunching up in that painful pleasure he loves so much as Luke immediately starts pounding into him. Calum has no time to breathe or adjust before Luke is plastering himself to his back, making the boy drop onto his shoulders as his ass still stays raised as he gets pounded.

 

“L-lukey, fuck, yes, yes, please, I need - fuck!” Calum cries out when Luke brushes up against that familiar bundle of nerves, and Luke smirks as he feels the older man shiver all over. After years of practice, Luke has been able to locate the bassist’s prostate pretty easily now. The blonde groans when Calum tightens around him, pleasure coursing through his veins as the man’s tight passage becomes tighter and hotter.

 

Luke groans as he continues fucking Calum, spanking one tan globe because he can. Suddenly, he forces the boy ups, grabbing onto the tan neck as leverage to fuck into the bassist harder. Calum chokes, now being forced back up onto his hands as Luke starts fucking him harder than ever before. Tears are flowy down his cheeks as his air supply is cut off and he feels amazing.

 

Calum tries to voice how good Luke is fucking him, but he’s so overhwelmed with pleasure and Luke’s hands on his throat that he can’t make a sound besides the desperate whines escaping him. The blonde seems to pick up on this, and increases his thrust speed.

 

“Yeah, you like that, baby? Getting fucked so good you can’t even talk? All you can do is just cry and take it like a bitch?” Luke murmurs in his ear, biting the shell. Calum can’t help the cries that come out of his mouth, and his eyes start to roll into the back of his head as he’s fucked so good.

 

The blonde smirks and looks down to appreciate the view of Calum’s ass getting pounded by his cock. The man’s ass is bouncing with every thrust, clapping together and turning pink from the abuse. Luke groans, bringing one hand down from Calum’s neck to let him breathe some, and to start smacking his pretty ass. He alternates which cheek he spanks, making sure that each one will end up having a handprint on it.  

 

“Fuck, baby, not gonna last that much longer,” Luke grunts, bringing his other hand down to start stroking at Calum’s sensitive prick. The man chokes on all the air that is able to bet back into his lungs now that Luke is no longer applying pressure to his throat. Calum lets out a loud moan when the blonde starts thumbing at his head, wanting to fuck into his fist while at the same time wanting to fuck his ass back onto Luke’s cock. Already one orgasm in, but Calum is desperate and ready for another one.

 

“M-m-me too, fuck,” Calum whines, his mouth hanging open in a silent moan as Luke keeps thrusting again and again against his prostate, and now drool is starting to come out of Calum’s mouth. Luke smirks, loving how Calum absolutely surrenders to the pleasure of Luke fucking him and stops caring about trying to keep his composure. When Calum is this desperate to cum, he drools everywhere, cries everywhere, blubbers up and sweetly begs for Luke to finally let him cum. “I’m so close, Lukey, please.”

 

“I gotchu, babe,” Luke mutters, his hips thrusting erratically into the man as his orgasm is approaching, He doesn’t let up on stroking Calum’s cock as he feels it twitch in his grip. “Gonna make you cum so many more times tonight, you’re gonna be begging me to stop.” The promise, along with his ruthless stroking, makes the Maori man cum, and cum hard. Calum positively screams out, cum spurting out of his cockhead and onto the bed sheets. Luke subconsciously puts his bed sheets as something else he needs to clean tomorrow.

 

A string of moans, ‘yes’, and Luke’s name spill from Calum’s wet lips as he continues to cum, his orgasm raking over his entire body. It causes him to clench down on Luke’s cock, which spurs his own orgasm to come quicker. The blonde doesn’t stop jacking Calum off, especially with the man’s cum causing his hand to go faster. Calum whimpers out when he is finally done cumming as he tries to squirm away from the hold. “Lu-lukey, please, need you to fill me-fuck!” He cries out when the blonde starts to thumb at his slit, making him jerk up and thrust his ass back on Luke’s cock.

 

With that, Luke can’t help but let his own orgasm wash over, pumping his older bandmate full of his cum as he thrusts all the way in. Biting sharply at Calum’s shoulder, he groans as he unloads into him. “So good, Calum, so fucking good for me,” He mutters into the tan skin of the Maori man’s shoulder. He whimpers as he arches up into Luke, relishing in how intimately connected they are at the moment.

 

Calum feels delirious, his orgasm feeling like it was ripped out of his body and he had to take a few moments to recover. Luke, however, doesn’t feel that way. Kissing lightly at the huge bite mark he left, Luke rises up onto his hands and stares down at the fucked out boy beneath him. Drool and tears have collected on the sheets below Calum, so Luke manhandles him onto his back, away from the mess. He somehow manages to stay inside of him, which causes Calum to whine in overstimulation. Unsurprisingly, he starts squirming, his head still in a daze as he tries to push at Luke’s shoulders. He isn’t successful as Luke goes down, burying his head in the boy’s neck as he wraps his arms around his back. Calum’s heart swoons at that, and the need to be away from the younger man vanishes instantly as he wraps his thighs around Luke’s strong hips.

 

Calum cannot even form words in this state of mind. He feels as if he’s swimming in a pool of pleasure and numbness, and he’s okay with that. All he can think about right now is Luke. How the blonde is pressing him down into the mattress with his weight on top of him, keeping him warm in the typically extremely cold room that is Luke’s bedroom. He feels the baby hairs at the nape of Luke’s neck, the man’s pretty blonde hair feeling like silk in between his fingertips. Luke’s lips move against his own neck, the soft skin leaving trails of hickies and bites Calum is surely going to be pissed about later, but right now, he couldn’t care less. The blonde’s cock is still semi-hard, keeping him stretched and open.

 

And it feels so goddamn _good_.

 

However, Calum can’t even muster up the strength to voice his feelings, his head still in a pleasurable daze. All he can do is moan and squeezing tighter around Luke, hoping that the blonde understands what he means. Luke raises his head from Calum’s neck, nipping at his jawline for a few seconds before looking at the man’s flushed face. He can tell Calum is out of it from how glassy and unfocused his eyes are. His mouth hangs open, his whole face covered in sweat, drool, and tears. It’s an erotic image, one Luke wishes he could capture for the rest of his life.

 

Luke still doesn’t know what to call this state Calum is in right now. The man is completely at his mercy, wanton and pliant in his arms. The blonde knows at this point that he can’t really communicate, or do much besides tighten himself around Luke. So, when the younger man feels Calum do so, he knows that Calum is feeling good right now. Which is all Luke ever wants. For Calum to feel good and happy and loved.  

 

“Do you feel good, love?” Luke whispers, pecking slightly at Calum’s plump lips. The brunette is able to nod, his eyelashes fluttering as he smiles dopily. It causes the blonde to smile as well. At least Calum is semi-coherent. “You mind if we start again?”

 

Calum nods again weakly, and he squeezes his arms around Luke tighter to show he’s ready. Luke continues to grin as he starts to shallowly thrust, nothing too much since he is also a little over sensitive. Calum, however, is very oversensitive, but he loves the painful tinge that comes along with the pleasure of being fucked again after just having sex. It makes his toes curl up, it makes him dig his nails into Luke’s back (which he knows the blonde loves), it makes him rub his own hard dick against Luke’s abs.

 

“Fuck,” Luke swears as he slowly grinds into Calum. He arches his back upwards to feel a deeper dig when Calum scratches at his back. The guitarist continues to stare down at his pretty bandmate, looking deep within his dilated brown puppy dog eyes as he rocks into him. _So beautiful…_

 

“L-lu-luke,” Calum stutters out, shocking them both as he is able to actually verbalize something.

 

“Yes, baby?” Luke asks, not being able to help himself when he leans forward to kiss Calum’s nose. The tan man’s heart melts, the sign of affection doing things to Calum in this foggy state of mind that would typically scare him. He suddenly saw the two of them doing this every night, but with some new jewelry decorating their hands. He saw Luke kissing his nose in some kitchen as a bunch of small children run around them. He envisions Luke, greying and an old man, smiling down at him like he is right now. All Calum can feel and see and sense and touch is _Luke, Luke, Luke_.

 

“Feels, so, so, good,” The poor man moans, arching up into the blonde as his cock twitches between their stomachs. The taller man smirks as he raises up onto his hands and knees as he readjusts inside of Calum. He grips onto the man’s thick thighs, squeezing them tightly as he thrusts Calum fully onto his cock. The older man gasps loudly, his eyes flying open as he stares up helplessly at Luke. He adjusts the brunette’s tan legs to hang over his shoulders, the change allowing for Luke to go deeper inside of Calum. All he can see is Luke, the furniture and the walls and the whole world disappearing as _Luke_ completely fills his senses.

 

The brunette lets his arms rest carelessly by his head, gripping onto the sheets below him as Luke starts to speed up his thrusts into Calum. He can’t stop himself from moaning at every thrust Luke makes inside of him. He can’t help the whines that escape his throat when Luke grips tightly at his thighs to get better leverage as he continues fucking him.

 

This round lasts a lot longer than the first one, the two men now having released the pent up sexual tension from the day and are now back at equal playing fields. After many minutes of thrusting, squeezing, moaning, whining, and kissing, Luke empties himself again inside of Calum as the older man paints his stomach white again. The kiss they shared afterwards is filled with so much passion and something else neither of them want to name.

 

Luke hungrily keeps licking into Calum’s mouth, feeling that he needs to be this close to the man or else he’ll die. He wraps one arm around Calum’s back, causing the shorter man to arch up into the blonde more. His other hand threads itself through Calum’s curls, slightly tugging before staying there. He’s still fully inside of Calum, and he can’t help himself from thrusting shallowly into the man again and again.

 

At first, Calum is pliant, letting the younger man start fucking into him again despite already having cummed three times. However, once his own cock starts getting hard from the pleasure of Luke being inside of him, Calum starts whining into Luke’s mouth, the blonde still possessively kissing him. He unwinds his arms from the guitarist’s neck and starts trying to push at his shoulders.

 

Luke pulls back, taking his tongue out of Calum’s mouth, to look down at the squirming man curiously. He still shallowly thrusts. “What’s wrong, baby?”

 

Calum keens at the name, still feeling very subby. “S-so sensitive, still.” Luke chuckles, before he leaves a kiss on the tan man’s chubby cheek.

 

“I know, baby, but you’ve only cum three times. We need to double that by the end of the night,” the blonde devilishly smirks, and the brunette helplessly groans.

 

They fuck two more times before passing out. Once more with Calum bouncing incoherently in Luke’s lap, and one last time when he pushes Calum backwards after riding him and fucking him one last time before falling asleep like that, deep inside Calum.

 

No one has to know how long Luke stares at Calum’s beautiful passed out form, his face completely at peace with Luke still sheathed inside of him. No one will ever know how he continues to kiss at Calum’s lips because Luke feels like he’ll die if he can’t express his feelings at that moment in that particular way. Luke does all of this, knowing that it’s okay and that he doesn’t have to explain his feelings and how he shows them to anyone, not even to himself.

 

~~~

 

When Calum wakes up in the morning, the first thing he feels is warm. And then pain. He tries to open his eyes, but the sun is pouring in through the open window. The Maori man groans and rolls over to the other side, facing the wall, and tries to open his eyes again. After a few seconds of adjusting, Calum can finally see where he is. Luke’s bed. This is Luke’s dark blue comforter, and this is Luke’s king size bed pushed into the corner of his bedroom, and that is _Luke’s_ pillow that he sleeps on.

 

(The blonde somehow only has one pillow, while Calum’s bed has at least ten at this point. Calum will never understand how he can only sleep with one.)

 

The next thing Calum notices is how he is alone in bed. Calum can see the indent of where Luke’s body once was, and he can smell the forest scent of Luke’s body wash in the sheets. Calum groans again, shoving the covers off of his naked body before flopping onto his back. He stares up at the ceiling, rubbing his face as he tries to wake up some more. His whole body feels sore from last night. He can feel Luke’s cum inside of him still, and he just knew once he looked in the mirror, he will see proof of last night all over his body.

 

However, he didn’t care.

 

Calum finally gets out of bed, limping to the bathroom and cursing Luke the entire way. Just as he suspected, his reflection shows how intense last night was. Hickies covers his neck and chest, finger-shaped bruises littering his hips and thighs, and his own cum stained his stomach. Calum grimaces, deciding on taking a shower. He hops in quickly in hopes that Luke won’t materialize out of nowhere and go another round. In their entire history with each other, they’ve taken many showers together, and not a single one has gone innocently. He would like to have faith that one day they will, but he knows that today would not be that day.

 

After a few minutes of washing his body and hair, and trying to clean his ass of Luke’s cum, he steps out of the shower, finding a towel and drying off. Calum’s been up for about twenty minutes out this point, and still hasn’t seen Luke. Interesting.

 

He wanders into Luke’s closet, pulling out a random t shirt from some museum Luke loved in whatever the capital of America was. He slips it on and goes to find his own briefs. Once he does, he slips those on, too, but they are hidden by how big the t-shirt is on Calum. While Luke wasn’t that much taller than Calum (despite the blonde saying three inches is a lot) they are much different in shirt sizes. With his broad shoulders and wide frame, Luke often wears large or extra large, while Calum’s more lithe frame is more suited for medium and even the occasional small. Calum loves wearing Luke’s clothes because he feels as if they’re a couple, like Calum is Luke’s girlfriend that steals all of his clothing.

 

Not that Calum would ever admit that out loud, or admit that he ever wanted to be in a romantic relationship with Luke.

 

Calum starts thinking of this as he exits the bedroom, with the intent on finding out where Luke is. While Michael is still his oldest and best friend, and Ashton is like the loving, protective older brother he never had, there is something about his relationship with Luke that he cherishes. The blonde man has always been so sweet and supportive of Calum from the beginning of their friendship, and he fulfills Calum sexually in ways the Maori man never imagined. Calum is confident he can never find another man alive that could fuck him as good as Luke can, and that is now presenting a problem.

 

Ever since Luke and Sierra broke up a month ago, the two men have gotten back to being closer emotionally and sexually. Naturally, in a committed, long term relationship, one starts sharing themselves with their partner far more than they do with their friends and family. Luke did this with Sierra, going to her for all of his life’s problems that were very personal and deep. He was more often vulnerable with her, while still showing some to his band. However, with her out of the picture, Calum has become this resource for the blonde, as well as his fuck buddy.

 

Calum both loves and hates it.

 

He loves _it_ because _god_ , he missed the sex. The sex is just so good and Calum has never been able to duplicate it with anyone else. Michael and him have fooled around a few times, but very rarely. Calum obviously had his groupies, and Grindr was a great resource, but none of those tristes left him as satisfied as Luke does.

 

He loves _it_ because he loves seeing all sides of Luke. He loves seeing his caring side, and his sweet side, and his awkward side, and his vulnerable side. He loves hearing about Luke’s day, and he loves being the one Luke invites to do things one-on-one with. He loves having all of Luke’s attention.

 

However, all these reasons why he loves this dynamic with Luke is also why he hates it.

 

He hates having this dependency on Luke sexually. He can’t fully get off like he can with anyone else, leaving him to occasionally think of Luke when having sex with someone else or getting off alone at night.

 

He hates having this need to be around Luke and to have his attention. He doesn’t want to have this desire of being intimate with Luke in an emotional sense. He hates this because this is just a prelude to him developing real, deep feelings for his band member. Key words, band member. He doesn’t want to risk messing up the band with his stupid feelings and desires. Plus, it seems clear that Luke doesn’t reciprocate the feelings, since he’s been going in and out of relationships their whole relationship, while Calum has stayed relatively single. If Luke feels the same way Calum did, why does he keep getting into seriously committed relationships?

 

Now, Calum has figured out that he definitely isn’t in love with Luke. He may be dick-dependent on him, but he can still function without Luke. He dated Sierra for a long time, and he was able to make it through without being Luke’s fuck buddy or close confidant. He didn’t just make it, in fact. He was able to be happy without Luke. However, he’s scared that if he isn’t careful, he’s going to fall down that path.

 

Because, Calum cannot deny that something was up last night. He felt so dependent on Luke, like he couldn’t imagine his life without the blonde. Which, on the one hand, is true; he couldn’t imagine 5 Seconds of Summer without Luke, and he never wants to be in a universe where he didn’t tour the world with him. However, last night was something he’s never experienced with anyone before. Despite the fact he was getting dicked down really good by the blonde, his mind was clouded with thoughts of that four letter word he didn’t want to admit existed.

 

Now, Calum knows that sometimes being on the brink of orgasm can cause you to think and say crazy things. He’s said his own fair share of dumb shit in the middle of sex because of that. But, nothing as intense and as raw as those special feelings for Luke has ever come up during sex for Calum. It’s… scary. It’s scaring Calum because in all of his own past relationships, and all the other times Luke and him have ever hooked up, he’s never gone down such a deep rabbit hole of feelings for the other person like he did last night.

 

So, Calum is going to do what he does best; ignore his feelings. He’s going to keep last night locked up tight in a box in his mind that has a ‘Do Not Open’ sign hanging off of it. He’s going to _not_ go down this path of desiring Luke in any other way that platonic and sexual. Calum is going to make sure that he catches no feelings because he’s not going to end up wanting to date Luke.

 

_(...So, maybe he shouldn’t wear Luke’s shirts all the time…)_

 

When Calum finally made it downstairs, he can tell what Luke was doing this whole time; making breakfast. The blonde’s naked back faces him, only a pair of boxers covering up Luke’s body. He smells bacon and eggs, and as if on cue, his stomach growled. The noise alerts Luke of his presence, and the blonde man turns around from where he is at the stove to smile brightly at Calum. The brunette’s heart clenches at the goofy little smile, filled with so much happiness and something else Calum didn’t want to name.

 

“Hey, Cal. Thought I should treat you to some breakfast in bed after last night, but I guess breakfast in the kitchen is fine, too.” Luke says, going back to making sure the eggs were good. Calum snorts.

 

“Yeah, the kitchen is probably glad we’re finally actually cooking in it,” The comment makes Luke chuckle, the guitarist looking over his shoulder and winking at Calum. He rolls his eyes fondly, before he settles down at the kitchen island. “So whatcha makin?”

 

Luke sighs, turning around to face Calum again as he wipes his hands on his apron. “I’m making some bagel sandwiches with eggs, bacon, and cheese, just how you like.” He smiles again. Luke casts his eyes down to the shirt Calum is wearing, and a different smile blooms on his face. One filled with adoration. “I love that shirt.”

 

Calum tries to keep his blush at bay, not wanting to admit that he subconsciously knew that and that’s why he picked it out. “Oh yeah, I forgot. You got it from that one city up in America,” he tries to say nonchalantly. Luke shakes his head fondly, and he turns back around once two bagels pop out of the toaster.

 

“Washington, D.C, Calum. Their capital.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Calum brushes off as the final stages of the bagel sandwiches catch his attention. Luke pulls out two plates from his cabinets, putting the bagels on their own plate. Calum starts rubbing his hands excitedly as Luke carefully places each piece of the meal onto the bagels. Finally, Luke places a plate in front of him, and he barely puts it down on the table before Calum is scarfing it down, moaning at the taste.

 

“Damn, still making you moan no matter what I do in the kitchen,” Luke snickers, before he goes to get them both a glass of orange juice. Calum is glad he did so he can try to stop himself from blushing from the comment. He sets a glass down in front of Calum, before sitting down in the seat next to him. They adjust themselves so they’re facing each other and eating, a comfortable silence falling upon them.

 

It’s Luke who breaks it first. “So, I didn’t go to rough on you last night, did I?”

 

Calum smiles, swallowing his food in one big gulp as he tries to respond. “No, it was great. Ten out of ten, would recommend.” Luke grins at that, poking the shorter man with his foot before taking another bite of the bagel.

 

“I think it’s safe to say weed increases my libido,” Luke says between bites, looking down bashfully as Calum scoffs.

 

“You think? It took me a long ass time to clean all the cum out of my ass.”

 

The blonde blushes at that, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Yeah… that wasn’t even all of it,” Luke says before he could stop himself. Calum raises an eyebrow, putting his sandwich down to stare incredulously at Luke.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean, Lukey-poo?” Calum laughs. It’s been awhile since he’s seen Luke look _this_ embarrassed about something. It reminds him of one of the first times they hooked up, and Luke was ashamed of the fact that he came in his pants after a lot of grinding and making out.

 

“I may have… uh… I mean… promise me you won’t be mad and upset at me?” Luke asks earnestly, no longer making eye contact with Calum. Calum laughs again, pushing at Luke’s shoulder playfully to ease the tension.

 

“Of course, man. I’ve done some pretty heinous things with you over the years that will ensure that we go to hell, so there really is no more boundaries between us,” Calum jokes, which causes the blonde to smile.

 

“Okay…” Luke starts, feeling better with Calum’s weird way of encouragement. “Well… I may have… checked to see what the aftermath of our night was like when you were asleep… and I really couldn’t help myself…” Luke trails off, hoping Calum understands what he is trying to say. The brunette blinks at him, confused at what that cryptic sentence was supposed to mean. The aftermath… while he was asleep… they’re talking about cum…

 

“Wait - You rimmed me while I was asleep?” Calum suddenly says, amusement clear in his voice. Luke groans and shoves his face into his hands, shaking his head in shame. The older man laughs, clapping his hands together as Luke curses at him. “That’s what you’re so embarrassed by?”  


Luke looks up at him with astonishment in his eyes. “Well, yeah! You were sleeping! I literally had just fucked you like four times in two hours and you were just laid out on my bed and I just couldn’t help myself from looking, and it just looked… so hot…” Luke trails off, couching a bit before adjusting his posture. “Okay, let’s stop talking about this before I get hard again. I think you deserve a break from my dick for a bit.”

 

 _No I don’t. Maybe when I was taking a shower, but I’m ready now_ , Calum thinks to myself, and he briefly considers saying so out loud. However, he changes his mind once he realizes that is going back down on that dick-dependent path he doesn’t want to go on. _No, Calum, you can go sometime without getting fucked by Luke. You did it for three years, you can do it for twelve hours_.

 

“Thank you for consideration, Lukey,” Calum decides on saying. The blonde grins at him, the shame on Luke’s face now being replaced with joy.

 

“I like it when you call me Lukey,” Luke casually says, before going back to eat his breakfast. It’s a simple statement, one that has no deeper meaning to it, but it hits Calum like a train.

 

 _I like it when you call me Lukey._ He likes that Calum gave him this nickname that he knows the blonde doesn’t like when other people use it. Both Ashton and Michael have been on the receiving end of Luke’s rant on not being called Lukey, but never Calum. Calum never really put that much thought to it; he likes to mix up all the nicknames for the man. Lucas (which Luke also hates), giraffe, Penguin man, Lanky Tanky, Blondie, Mammoth, the list goes on. But Calum realizes he tends to call Luke Lukey during moments like this; where they’re being cute and domestic, an easy flow and dynamic between the two. That, or when the blonde is knuckle deep in him and his tongue is down Calum’s throat. Calum blushes at the thought and tries not to choke on Luke’s bacon.

 

The man can’t help himself, as he continues eating, from thinking what does this mean. Does this mean that Luke has a soft spot for Calum? Does this mean he thinks of Calum in a special light like no one else? Is this a prelude to them dating? Does Calum want them to be dating? Why is he overthinking this so much?

 

He tries to stop the storm going on in his mind after he finishes his sandwich. He takes the last swig of orange juice from his glass, before turning to Luke again. “So what’s on the agenda today, blondie?”

 

Luke rolls his eyes, swallowing the orange juice in his mouth. “I think at 3, we’re supposed to go to the studio for a writing session. Malum and Lashton today.” Calum groans, thrashing about on the stool in a display of frustration.

 

“God dammit, I don’t want to write today. How much time do we have until battle?” The brunette bemoans. Luke shakes his head as he takes another bite.

 

“We got about an hour.”

 

“What?” Calum gasps, shocked at how late it is. “It’s already 2?” The taller man nods, pointing towards the clock on the microwave. Just as Calum feared, a neon-green _1:53_ stares back at him.

 

“Yeah, we originally were supposed to go at, like, noon, but I told Ashton we needed to push it back because I knew you were not going to be alive and ready to enter the world at noon,” Luke says, grinning at the relief that spreads through Calum’s face.

 

“God, thank you. I’m not even sure if I could do this 3 o’clock one…” Calum murmurs to himself. Luke nudges Calum’s thighs again with his foot, trying to encourage him.

 

“It’s not that big of a deal. All you gotta do is put on some shorts and I can drive us to the studio. It’s not like we have to talk to our managers or anything, at least,” Luke reassures as he finishes off his bagel. Calum sighs, knowing that Luke is right and he’s already relatively awake. “Plus, it’s me and Michael who will be suffering as we get no work done without your lyrical genius-ness.”

 

Calum lets out a laugh, inwardly relishing in the compliment from his bandmate. “Shut up, Lukey. You are just as good as me at writing lyrics, you just have to open up your third eye.” Luke arches one brow.

 

“I’m only good with you, Cal,” Luke says casually, but for the second time in this conversation, the blonde’s comment makes Calum’s head start spiraling of unwanted thoughts of romance and that god forsaken four-letter word. “Hold on, lemme make us some coffee so you can be fully awake by the time we’re at the studio.”

 

Calum absent-mindedly nodded. He playfully pushes Luke when the blonde purposely bumps into him on his way to make coffee. However, all he can think of is _I’m only good with you_. God, damn, why is Luke saying all of these things that make Calum’s heart flutter?

 

The brunette looks down, seeing that the comment somehow also made some heat start to collect in his crotch. Calum was not about to get hard from Luke’s comment. He crosses his legs, squeezing his dick in between his legs in his usual method of stopping a boner from forming. After a minute, little Calum is fine and tame.The Maori man sighs, the crisis averted as he looks back up. He stares at Luke’s back, and he blushes when he realizes the obvious scratches he left all over the poor skin. He starts thinking of how he gave those to Luke; last night, when the blonde was pushing into him roughly as he pressed the Maori man down into his mattress. Calum’s legs were wrapped around Luke’s waist and his arms were, obviously, wrapped around Luke’s back as his hands scratched it up.

 

Damn, he’s hard again.

 

However, Calum doesn’t see it as a bad thing when Luke turns around, presenting the brunette with his cup of black coffee. Calum takes it graciously, taking a few sips as Luke circles back to his seat. The tall man doesn’t sit down, just stares down at Calum as they sip their coffee. Soft smiles grace both of their faces. Moving his (Luke’s) shirt up, Calum ‘innocently’ scratches at his upper thigh. He notices how Luke’s eyes quickly look down to where Calum does so, before going back to Calum’s lips.

 

The bassist un-crosses his leg, and he doesn’t miss how Luke’s eyes again trail down to his legs. Calum’s muscular legs are shown off even more now. As if a cliche, the blonde licks his lips as he watches the muscles in the man’s thighs flex, and Calum can see Luke’s cock twitch in his boxers. He’s already smirking at Luke once the blonde raises up his eyes to meet his own. The bassist spreads his thighs further, and Luke takes the invitation.

 

So much for Calum getting a break.

 

~~~

 

Ashton, Michael, Calum, and Luke all sit on top of Calum’s roof, staring at the beautiful sunset as they smoke weed. It’s scorching hot outside, typical Australian weather, but they all bask in it. The sun beating down on them is something they often didn’t get to experience when they lived in London, and it was rare for the past couple of years where they can just relax back at home like this. Again, this reminds them all of what life was like before the fame. They were just four guys, who had a passion for music, and a deep friendship with each other.

 

(And they sometimes fucked each other, but that was mainly just Luke and Calum.)

 

There’s two blunts going right now; one between Mashton and one between Cake. The group often finds itself splitting itself up like that these days. Through marriage, Michael has been able to mature a bit more and has found Ashton to be someone he can relate to more and more. Calum and Luke, unsurprisingly, have been spending more and more time together in various circumstances. They try not to be too obvious about them hooking up again; they don’t want a repeat of the endless teasing that happened last time Luke broke up with Arzaleya. They also don’t want to confront what is really going on between them, and the things that are slowly forming under the veneer of just ‘hooking up.’

 

So, the two younger band members try to keep their PDA to a minimum, since that is the only thing that separates them from being typical friends. Most friends don’t call each other babe, or suck each other off, or have sex on every conceivable surface in their house as a way to christen it. They keep up appearances, and they believe that Michael and Ashton are none the wiser.

 

“Damn, this is some good weed,” Michael grunts, his throat parched from smoking. He goes to grab his water bottle, but Calum beats him to it before taking a swig. He knows the bassist just came down from a massive coughing fit, but Michael still acids in annoyance. “Hey! That’s mine!”

 

“Let him drink, man. He has a sensitive throat,” Luke defends as he takes another hit.

 

“Oh, I’m sure you know all about that, Luke,” Michael can’t help himself from making the snide comment, meeting Ashton’s hand in a high five as the two older band members laugh while the young two blush.

 

“W-what the fuck is that suppose to mean, Clifford?” Calum tries to sound threatening, but his hoarse voice and watery eyes makes it hard to take the Maori man seriously.

 

“Whatever you want it to mean, Hood,” Michael cooly replies before taking another hit of the blunt. He ignores the glare and pout combo he knows Calum is giving him right now, instead looking out at the sunset. “All I’m saying is that it’s seems pretty clear what is actually making your voice hoarse, and it’s not some ‘cold’ you got in the middle of summer,”

 

Calum gapes at his oldest friend, not expecting to get called out like this. Luke innocently passes the blunt to the shorter man as he watches this transpire with an amused expression on his face. He graciously takes the blunt from the blonde “Fucking say what you want to say, Michael.”

 

The bleached blonde raises his eyebrows, casting Calum, and then Luke, a quick glance before sighing. “I’m saying that we all know that you two are boning again, and Ash and me don’t   
understand why you’re still trying to keep it a secret from us all these years.”

 

The upfront comment makes the tan man choke on the smoke in his lungs, Calum coughing it all up. Luke worriedly pats his back and rubs it gently before he snags Michael’s water bottle back from the owner, giving it to Calum. He definitely is not helping their image.

 

After his coughing fit, Calum glares up at his friend. “We are not boning - again! What, like, we, we’ve never done that kinda stuff, right, Luke?”

 

“Calum, please, you lying is not fooling anyway,” Ashton laughs, taking another hit of the blunt before goofily smiling. “We know Luke likes putting his peepee inside of you in various ways.”

 

Luke laughs at the comment, shaking his head fondly at Calum tries to come up with some sort of excuse or lie. “Calum, calm down. It’s not a big deal that we’re hooking up again; just go with the flow, man,” Luke insists. Smoke billows out of his mouth as he speaks. Calum glares at him, before hitting him.

 

“Yeah, like, why are you trying to deny that you like taking it up the ass? We’ve all been there,” Ashton continues, laughing at how flabbergasted the bassist looks at his crude words. “Well, I haven’t, but I’ve done things with guys, and Michael has, and Luke has, and you dated a guy that one time.”

 

“Yeah, sexuality and sex itself is nothing to be ashamed of, doofus. Crystal has pegged me a few times, we’ve hooked up before, I’ve made out with Luke drunk before, it’s alright, man,” Michael says casually. Calum blushes further at what Michael says, a strange mix of embarrassment and jealousy pooling in his stomach.

 

“Yeah, it’s not a big deal when you’re hooking up with someone, Cal. Don’t be such a little pussy about it,” Ashton insists. Before he knows it, Calum is reaching over Michael to punch him in the shoulder repeatedly. He tries to defend himself, but he keeps laughing as Calum keeps swinging and missing the majority of the time.

 

“Don't worry, Ash, I gotchu,” Michael assures, before he traps Calum on his lap, digging his elbows into his back so the Maori man is trapped where he is on his stomach. The three other men fall into a fit of giggles as Calum struggles to get out, whinging and kicking his legs. Soon, Luke joins in, grabbing the tan man’s legs as he chuckles at the older man thrashing about. Calum screeches out as he desperately tries to get out of the hold Michael has on him.

 

“Mikey, please, let me go!” He pleads. The bassist tries to sound serious, but he also can’t help but see the humor in this situation. He tries to kick Luke in the face, but he can’t get his legs out of the blonde’s harsh grip.

 

“No can do, Hood, not until you admit that you like it when Luke puts his peepee inside of you,” The bleached blonde grins devilishly as he looks down upon the squirming brunette in his lap, finding it extremely funny. Ashton goes to grab as Calum’s wrists, now completely immobilizing the man.

 

“No! Stop acting like we’re five!” Calum begs, still laughing as he tries to get his hands out of Ashton’s hard grip.

 

“Say it, Calum, say that you like my peepee,” Luke insists, before he makes the bold choice of slapping Calum’s ass. The brunette chokes out a gasp, stopping his squirming to look back betrayed at the younger man. He raises his eyebrows back, an expecting look on his face. Michael and Ashton watch with bated breath.

 

“Fuck, fine! Luke, I like your peepee, but I hate you!” Calum seethes. The blonde rolls his eyes before releasing his legs, followed by Michael and Ashton releasing Calum. The Maori man punches all of them three times each, before grabbing both blunts and smoking from both at the same time. “You guys don’t deserve these anymore.”

 

“C’mon, Cal, you don’t mean that. You looove me,” Luke says, drawing out the ‘o’ sound in love for a few seconds before wrapping his arm around the man’s shoulders. Calum grumbles, not pushing the blonde away even though he knows he should.

 

“No I don’t, I hate you,” He mumbles, pouting away like the grown man that he is. The rest of the band snickers. The conversation moves on eventually, but the arm wrapped around Calum’s shoulder doesn’t move an inch. Luke doesn’t even realize, while Calum is hyperaware.

 

 _Don’t think too much about it_ , Calum tries to tell himself. _It’s not a big deal. Do not read into your fuck buddy wrapping you up in his arms casually. Don’t. Do. It._

 

~~~

 

“Cal, please, I don’t wanna miss the previews!” Luke pleads, urging the Maori man to hurry up choosing what he wants at the concession stand. Calum strokes at his chin, ignoring the blonde in favor of deciding which flavor of ICEE he wants.

 

“Do I want Cherry… or do I want Cherry Limeade…” He ponders. Cherry is the good old classic, but should he mix it up and go Cherry Limeade? It hardly is ever able to begin with, so should he strike at the rare moment that the machine is working?

 

“I swear to god, you’re doing this on purpose!” The taller man whines, stomping his feet in a display of anger. Calum tries to stop himself from smirking, but it proves too great of a challenge.

 

“Be patient, Lukey boy, I can’t decide which ICEE to get,” He shushes, still pondering. Before he knows it, he hears the familiar gasp of someone recognizing him.

 

“Oh my god!” The voices of a presumed group of 15 year old girls rings in his ears. He turns around, already putting a smile on his face when he sees four girls run up to him and Luke.

 

“Oh my god, you’re the Calum Hood and Luke Hemmings!” One girl with braces say, the smile on her face so wide that Calum can’t help but reciprocate it. He laughs, nodding his head as Luke moves to stand right next to him.

 

“That we are, love,” Luke says smoothly, his grin wide and easy as the girls freak out. Calum stares at him for a second. Damn, he’s never noticed how nice his smile is…

 

“I’m sorry for asking this, because I bet you get asked this all the time, but can we please get a selfie? I’ve never even met a celebrity before, and now I’m meeting my favorite band!” another one of the other girls say, holding her afro in excitement. Calum and Luke both laugh.

 

“Sure thing! You caught me in the middle of deciding which ICEE flavor I wanted to get,” Calum says, carefully taking the girl’s phone she thrusts in front of him. Ever since that one time he dropped a fan’s phone and cracked it, he’s always been weary of holding them.

 

Evidently, Luke remembers this, because he takes the girl’s phone. Calum looks at him shocked, and the blonde shrugs. “I have longer arms.” He says as an excuse, and Calum pushes lightly at his shoulder, rolling his eyes. After a brief moment of making sure the six of them all fit into the frame, Luke takes several photos. A few funny faces, a few normal ones, and he hands the phone back. The girls all squeal again, the happiness that radiates off of them infectious.

 

“Thank you so much!” The girl with the afro says again, clutching her phone with all the joy in the world.

 

“We love you!” A blonde girl says, nervously playing with her hair. The two men laugh.

 

“And we love you! Now, we gotta get to our movie-” Luke tries to get out, before Calum cuts him off.

 

“Wait, Lukey, I still gotta get my ICEE,” He pouts, pointing back at the machine. The girls giggle. Luke rolls his eyes, sighing before he concedes.

 

“Okay, fine, but hurry the hell up, babe. It was really nice meeting you girls! Tweet us the photo so we can follow you!” Luke says, not catching the fact that he called Calum ‘babe’ in front of the fans. Calum does, and he hopes that the blush he knows blooms across his face isn’t as obvious as he feels like it is. The girls rapidly nod their heads, jumping up and down in excitement.

 

“Yes, yes! I definitely will!” The girl says excitedly. “Okay, we won’t hold you up, because we have to get to our own movie, but it was so amazing meeting you two!” She says, while her three other friends agree and say the same. They all excitedly rush off, squealing in excitement and demanding to see the picture. Luke chuckles when he hears one of them say ‘Holy shit, we all look good, thank god!’ and another one says ‘I’m gonna make this my desktop background!’

 

Luke turns to Calum, poking at his side. “Okay, Calum, I am begging you, just choose a damn flavor already!”

 

~~~

 

Two hours later, the two men walk out of the theatre, with empty popcorn containers and full stomachs. Luke is bouncing on his feet, saying how great the movie was. It was a movie about Fleetwood Mac, and the journey that Stevie Nicks specifically went through. It seems that retelling the lives and stories of famous musical artists is a trend in the movie industry, and it’s been going strong for many years now.

 

However, Calum could barely concentrate on the movie. All he could think of was how Luke’s arm was wrapped around him the entire time, and would whisper commentary in his ear the entire time, or, most importantly, how he called him ‘babe’ in front of those fans. Calum, being the overthinker he is, couldn’t stop his mind from spitting out the same thing over and over again.

 

 _Luke likes you and you like him_.

 

The bassist keeps thinking how all these little things are starting to add up. Luke has become progressively more and more touchy feel-y with him. As a band, and as a friend group, he will admit they’re more comfortable with each other than most guys would be with their other guy friends. Calum chalks it up to the fact that they’re all a little queer, with him being the most queer and Ashton being the least queer. However, what Luke is doing now is definitely walking the line between being close friends and being close _boyfriends_.

 

_You can’t just wrap your arm around a friend during a movie and whisper things in their ears the entire time. You don’t just call your friend ‘babe’ in front of fans when you’re in a band with a hyper imaginative fanbase. You don’t just fuck your friend six ways until Sunday, going for hours upon hours until you just can no longer cum._

 

They can’t just be friends at this point… right?

 

“Cal, are you even listening to me?” Luke asks, snapping his fingers in front of the older man’s face. Caught off guard, the brunette jumps back and flushes in embarrassment.

 

“Sorry, I was just thinking about I needed to, uh…” Calum trails off, quickly trying to think of something to say besides ‘I was thinking about how I think you like me and how I’m perfectly okay with that and I think I might like you too.’ “Follow those girls we met!” He remembers, relieved he had an actual excuse. The blonde blinks at him, before realization crosses his face.

 

“Oh, yeah! Forgot about them. Can you find them and just tell me what their usernames are?” Luke asks, throwing away his trash. He takes the trash out of Calum’s hands as well, throwing it away without being asked. Calum looks at him incredulously.

 

_Dammit, Luke, you’re not making this whole crush thing any easier…_

 

“Yeah, sure…” Calum trails off as he pulls out his phone. Many notifications greet him when he unlocks it, but he ignores all of them to open the Twitter app. After digging through his mentions for awhile, he finally stumbles upon the pictures.

 

He smiles goofily at it. Luke looks really cute in it, his smile wide as his tongue is caught between his teeth in that way he likes to do sometimes. His hair also looks really nice, his curls looking healthy and not greasy, which it sometimes does. He washed his hair (actually, Calum did) this morning, so that’s why it looks so nice. The girls in the photo also look cute, their smiles undeniably filled with the happiness and joy that can only come from meeting your favorite celebrity.

 

He doesn’t tell Luke he’s found it, just enjoying looking at it while they walk back to where Luke parked. The blonde is still talking about the movie, and Calum chimes in when he can, but he mainly just nods along. He likes the tweet and retweets it, following the girl, Fatima, and her friends Sophia, Nia, and Jasmine. He smiles, knowing how much this is going to make their day. He loves being able to have that effect on people.

 

He then goes to the replies of the tweet, seeing what Fatima and her friends are saying. There’s the typical ‘I’m so jealous!’ tweets from her friends, and the expected ‘They look sooooo good’ tweets. However, as Calum and Luke exit the movie theatre and enter the parking garage, he sees a tweet that makes his heart stop.

 

_‘Lol they both have huge hickies i bet they gave it to each other’_

 

Calum stares at the tweet, before he swipes back to the photo. Holy shit, they do have huge hickies. Luke’s is right where Calum’s mouth lines up to his neck, given to him last night after that smoke session where they had angry sex. Calum’s neck was marked up worse, but that was expected whenever it comes to Luke and his hickey-giving habit he refuses to acknowledge he has. All over his neck was hickies, and how Calum didn’t realize he had those hickies was beyond him. He didn’t even notice when he first saw the photo!

 

 _Fuck, fuck fuck_ , Calum starts stressing out when he reads the replies from Fatima. She said how they were acting very cute together, and how, _shit_ , how Luke even called him ‘babe.’

 

The first reaction Calum has to the tweet is ‘ _Yes, I wasn’t crazy noticing how he called me babe!_ ’ His second is ‘Shit, someone else noticed how he called me babe.’ He continues reading the tweets and replies, his mind spiraling as more and more people say that they are dating based off of how they’ve been acting on social media.

 

_‘Did you see that livestream they went on last week? They definitely fuckin’_

 

_‘I always thought calum would be the top but not after seeing how possessive luke is over him now’_

 

_‘Omg my cake fantasy is now my cake reality’_

 

_‘I bet you caught them actually on a date fatima you lucky bitch’_

 

_‘Isn’t that luke’s sweaters that cal is wearing lol’_

 

Calum looks down, realizing he actually is wearing one of Luke’s sweaters. Dammit. He sighs, rubbing his face as they reach Luke’s car. Fuck, how did they get to this place? Why is Calum letting himself start getting all these feelings for Luke? Luke, his bandmate, his best friend, his friends with benefits. Why, why, _why_?  

 

Luke unlocks the car, getting in as Calum does the same. He buckles himself in, before unlocking his phone. “Did you find the photo on twitter?”

 

Calum hesitantly nods. “Yeah… I retweeted it… but, uh… we got a problem.” Luke looks at him curiously. He sighs, thrusting his phone into the blonde’s face.

 

Luke stares at the screen for a second, before looking back up at the bassist. “What’s the problem?”

 

Calum groans, pointing directly at their bruised necks. “We didn’t cover up our fucking hickies, man. They’re all talking about how they know we’re dating now.” Luke stares for a moment to process it, before shrugging and starting the car.

 

“There’s been dating rumors about us before we were even fucking, Cal. It ain’t that big of a deal. People still think me and Michael are gonna happen despite him being married now,” Luke says nonchalantly, not batting an eye at what is causing Calum so much distress.

 

“Yeah, but…” Calum can’t come up with a reason to still be stressed out about this, other than the fact that he also is out of the loop if they’re dating on not. Seeing everyone else think they’re dating makes him believe that they practically are.

 

And Calum, for the first time, admits to himself that maybe, just maybe, he actually wants to date Luke.

 

The only thing that knocks him out of this train of thoughts is when the man in question hits a curb with his car. He instinctively reaches a hand out, covering Calum’s chest so he doesn’t fly forwards. “Dammit, sorry, babe. This is why you gotta wear seatbelts,” Luke laughs, patting Calum’s chest lightly before removing his hand.

 

_That blonde fucker._

 

~~~

 

“God, I’m pooped,” Calum groans as he and Ashton stumble out of the studio at 9:37pm. They’re just now finishing a late night writing session their manager forced them into having, but it proved to be productive.

 

“Yeah, no suprise there since you somehow wrote four fucking songs!” Ashton beams, clapping the taller man on the shoulder in excitement. Calum sheepishly smiles, pushing the curly headed drummer off fondly.

 

“No biggie, man. It makes up for the fact that we’ve made no progress this whole week,” he tries to sound humble, but he does realize that it’s impressive to create so much content in only three hours. Not only was it just content for their album, it was great and usable content.

 

“That doesn’t make it any less impressive, dude. I’m proud of you. All I would have produced today is a page that just had the world ‘the’ on it,” The older man jokes, and Calum laughs. It was probably true.

 

“Yeah, whatever man. We got some nice lyrics, and now I want to eat that pasta that Crystal promised us as a reward for going to this late night writing session.” Calum says, bouncing on his feet as they head towards Calum’s car. “Wait, I kinda wanted to use my dab pen, now. Could you drive?” He asks, already buzzing in excitement for smoking.

 

“Ugh, fine, I guess,” the drummer complains, and the brunette rolls his eyes. “I sacrifice so much for this family, and I get nothing in return. You’ll miss me when I’m dead.”

 

“Which will be next year, you old man,” Calum retorts, and he has to dance away from the punch Ashton swings at him. “You’re all old and decrypted!”

 

“Shut the fuck up before I crash you damn car,” Ashton calls out at him, waving his fist in the air as he catches Calum’s keys that he throws at the drummer with his other hand. He unlocks the car, getting in as Calum does the same. “Put your seatbelt on, bitch.”

 

The Maori man rolls his eyes again, putting his seatbelt on dramatically before getting the dab pen he keeps in his car from the glove compartment. He sits back, relaxing his shoulders as he takes a mighty big hit and smiles, blowing the smoke out through his nose. He feels his mind instantly clear, and a warmth spread through his body, starting in his head.

 

“Man, I wish weed was legal everywhere,” Calum laments, looking at his dab pen as if it holds all the secrets to the universe. Ashton nods his head.

 

“Yeah, if only it wasn’t criminalized because it was associated with low income people of color and it just kind of diffused out from there,” Ashton pipes in, and Calum can’t confirm or deny that, but it sounds smart, so he nods.

 

“Totally,” he says, hoping that Ashton doesn’t ask him for his own opinion on the matter. He just knows he wants to smoke at any time and in any place.

 

“So, Calum, do tell where you were able to divine these lyrics from?” the drummer eventually asks. He usually doesn’t question the man when they’re writing lyrics about where the inspiration is coming from, but now that the lyrics are done and dusted, he can.

 

“What the fuck do you mean by divine the lyrics?” Calum asks with his eyebrows knitted together, taking another huge hit as his thoughts become clearer but more spaced out.

 

“Jesus, do you not read books above a fourth grade level? I mean, like, where did you get your lyrics from? What inspired you? Who were you writing these sappy love songs about? I mean, someone has to be inspiring you to write four songs in three hours,” the older man grills the younger. Calum stares at him wide eyed, not expecting to get called out in such a fashion.

 

Calum tries to think where did he get the inspiration from. While one song was about the joy of being back in a place where you belong (in his case, Australia), and another one was about appreciating the moment they’re living in now (which he thought was really cheesy, but that is sort of their brand), the last two were very clearly love songs. He was just writing from the heart, and he didn’t really think of the face or the person he was writing about.

 

He then shrugs before taking a hit. “I don’t know, bro. I don’t think I was writing about anyone in particular.” Ashton snorts.

 

“Bullshit, man. You talked about how their hair ‘shined like the golden sun above.’ What blonde bimbo caught your attention this time?” the drummer pesters more as he drives. Calum’s jaw drops at the direct call out, and he flounders for a response.

 

He tries to think back of his recent girlfriends and boyfriends. He’s never dated a blonde before, so it isn’t about an ex of his. He then thinks of any pretty blonde people he has flirted with in the past couple of weeks who could have inspired it, but it dawns on him that he really hasn’t been flirting with anyone lately. Why is that?

 

And then, it hits him. It hits him over the head, it pulls down his pants, it throws a pie in his face.

 

The songs were about Luke.

 

A lot of his songs are about Luke, actually. He’s never truly questioned who he was writing about in the past couple of months, especially while they’ve been back in Australia. But now, looking back, they’ve all been about Luke.

 

Holy fuck.

 

“None of your beeswax, man,” Calum mutters, trying to deflect the possibility of confessing to Ashton that they were about Luke. So what if they were about Luke? That doesn’t mean he has feelings for him! He is just… a creative inspiration! They’ve been hanging out a lot, so it makes sense that he would find inspiration in the blonde. Nothing wrong with that.

 

 _So why don’t you tell Ashton that?_ A voice in his head tells him.

 

_Because it sounds gay, voice inside my head._

 

_Because it is gay. You’re gay, for Luke._

 

_Shut the fuck up, brain._

 

~~~

 

It’s been three weeks since the move theatre incident, and a week since the realization that Luke is his songwriting inspiration, and Calum is still overthinking every little thing Luke does. They cuddle more and more per Luke’s request, and they really are fucking constantly at this point. Most of the meals he’s eaten in the past weeks have included Luke being there, and Calum has woken up in Luke’s bed more often than his own.

 

So, it’s no surprise that Calum was the last one of the four boys to finish moving in.

 

Yesterday, when Calum had the band’s weekly smoke session at his house again, the other three spent a solid fifteen minutes roasting him for still having boxes out, and it’s been over two months now of them being back in Sydney. He was ready to beg Luke to help him unpack the next day, but before he could, the blonde offered himself up to help the bassist. Calum tried to ignore the conga line of butterflies in his stomach as he excitedly said yes.

 

So, now it’s today, and Calum and Luke are celebrating the older man being officially moved in. No more boxes, he has all of his silverware out now, and his closet is now officially done. Now he doesn’t have to keep doing laundry everyday because he was too lazy to unpack the rest of his clothes.

 

Luke wanted to eat a burger at one of their old favorite diners a few miles away, so they headed down as soon as they took a (very sexy) shower together to wash off all the sweat and grime that comes from moving and unpacking. For the most part, Calum hasn’t been feeling anxious about the dynamic, a sense of normalcy coming back that he hasn’t felt in a long time with Luke.

 

For once, it just feels like two guys hanging out as friends, eating burgers and fries, and not Calum constantly thinking Luke is trying to date him.

 

So, when they ask their waitress for the check, Calum is feeling good. Maybe he was just picking up on the wrong cues, and that he was just overthinking, which he knows he does. He definitely does not like Luke, and they’re definitely not couple material. Calum can finally just move on and continue enjoying getting fucked by his best friend without the fear of feelings getting involved.

 

“So, are you excited for Lincoln’s party? I think it’s so cool that he’s renting out like a private beach for the party, so we don’t have to worry about paparazzi and shit,” Calum says, happily slurping on his strawberry milkshake. Luke ordered it for him without Calum even asking, and it took quite a bit of internal dialogue to tell himself to not obsess over it.

 

(Just a guy getting his friend a milkshake. Nothing to see there.)

 

However, the mood suddenly shifts at the mention of Lincoln. Luke’s smile drops, and his eyebrows knit together, and his gaze drops. The brunette rolls his eyes, hoping it wasn’t going to happen.

 

Luke has never gotten along with Calum’s friend Lincoln, for some mystifying reason. Calum secretly thinks it’s because Lincoln has been trying to get into his pants for years now, and that makes Luke jealous, but the Maori man keeps saying that’s probably not it. It was probably because Lincoln is always just a little bit more than Luke. He’s a little bit taller, he’s a little bit buffer, his hair a little bit blonder, his eyes a little bit bluer. It also doesn’t help that Lincoln also plays the guitar, but luckily he’s not trying to start a band or anything. He just plays it for fun.

 

He was a friend of Calum’s from the football circuit in Sydney when they were growing up. Lincoln was a few years older than Calum, but he always invited him to the older kid stuff that Michael and Luke couldn’t go to. As Calum introduced Lincoln to his friends, he started extending the invitation to them, but he was still mainly friends with Calum. A fact that seemed to royally annoy the blonde sitting across from him.

 

“Uh, yeah… how long do we have to be there again?” Luke finally responds, and his voice shows no sign of excitement or joy. Calum sighs.

 

“Lukey, come on! I know you don’t like Lincoln for some dumb reason, but it’s gonna be fun? I mean, what’s more fun than partying on the beaches of Australia?” He tries, poking the blonde under the table with his foot. He catches him smile a little bit, and Calum inwardly cheers the small victory. The blonde huffs.

 

“I don’t hate Lincoln, he just… I don’t know, but I still want to go obviously. I’m not gonna be the negative Nancy of our band and just not show up,” Luke assures, poking Calum back with his own foot, and they both break out into grins.

 

“Okay, good. I think it starts at 9, so people are gonna actually get there at, like, 10? So, we should get there at, like, 10:30,” The bassist strategizes, and Luke nods his head in agreement.

 

“And it’s…” Luke whips out his phone, checking what time it is. “4:13. How far away is it?”

 

Calum bites his lip, trying to remember where Lincoln said it was. He misses how Luke’s eyes immediately drop to his mouth at the action. “I think he said it was like thirty minutes from his house, and his house is like twenty minutes away from us… damn, so like an hour?”

 

Luke scratches his scruff, trying to figure out how the timing is going to work. “I feel like we should leave at 9 because I feel like it’s just weird not leaving at least when the party starts, you know?” Calum thinks for a moment, before he nods. “And also since we’ve never been to this beach before, so there’s a good chance we could get lost so we should put in some more time in case we do. So, we probably need to start getting ready at, like, 8:30?”

 

Calum polishes off his fries, giving the younger man the thumbs up. “Yep, sounds good. And we can now play some video games until 8:30 now that we’ve finally unboxed all of mins!” He says excitedly, which causes Luke’s excited grin to come back. He bops his head enthusiastically, before his face suddenly becomes somber. Calum raises one bushy eyebrow.

 

“I, uh, also, just wanted to say… just, be careful with Lincoln, cuz I know he’s been trying to get into your pants for years now, and, um,” Luke awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, fumbling greatly with his words. Calum watches amusedly, resting back and not helping Luke say what he wants, despite knowing exactly what the blonde is trying to say. “Just… be safe? Like, I don’t want you to get taken advantage of at this party if you’re drunk and he’s there and I’m not there to protect you…”

 

Calum laughs, finding the idea of Lincoln forcing himself on Calum to be completely impossible. “Luke, calm down; you have nothing to worry about. Lincoln is a good guy, he would never do something like that. And besides, I think I still owe you that reward for helping me finish unpacking,” He reassures with a confident wink. Luke shyly smiles back, and the older man is pleased that finally, he’s the one making the blonde blush, and not the other way around. Whether it was because he feels ridiculous for thinking Lincoln would force Calum into something, or the reminder of that _thing_ Calum does for Luke only when Luke really pleases him, who knows.

 

“Okay, here’s the check!” Their waitress says, but she curiously places it in front of Luke. The blonde cocks his head to the side as Calum knits his eyebrows together. “Please, take your time. The lunch rush is over, so there’s no hurry. Also, I just wanted to say you two are so cute together!”

 

Calum blinks at her, trying to figure out what this all means. Luke looks at the check, and he finds that it only has one check, and not two separate ones for what Luke and Calum ordered.

 

Oh.

 

_Oh._

 

 _She thinks Luke and I are dating_ , it dawns on Calum, making the man blush hard. Before he can stammer out the fact they aren’t dating, which Calum has recently and confidently come to conclude, Luke whips out his credit card and gives it to her, along with a quick ‘thank you’ and a smile.

 

The Maori man gapes at him, pointing at her as she walks off the other direction incredulously. “Luke, what the fuck, we aren’t dating! Why are you paying for my meal?”

 

The blonde shrugs, taking off his hat to run his fingers through his curls for a moment before slipping it back on. “I don’t know, I didn’t really feel like explaining and making her redo the check. It’s such a pain in the ass.”

 

Calum stutters, trying to figure out how to show how ridiculous it was of her to assume they’re dating. “Yeah, so? What if she… like... posts about it somewhere? We are famous rockstars, y’know!”

 

Luke rolls his eyes, stretching his arms as he tries to deal with the fretting brunette. “We obviously aren't that famous because she clearly doesn’t recognize us or know who we are. And besides, who cares? We aren’t dating, and we know that. What’s the matter?” He says nonchalantly as he sinks back in the chair with his eyebrows raised. Calum goes to open his mouth, but he closes it. He’s grasping at straws here, trying not to show the real reason why he’s freaking out about it. He’s worried that he does have feelings for Luke, and that his actions clearly show that he does. Because, how else would the waitress think they’re dating, if they don’t give off signals that read as ‘I’m romantically interested and involved with this person?’

 

Of course, he can’t tell Luke this. Luke can’t know how he has these feelings that are bubbling more and more at the surface. Luke would cut this off immediately, and obviously for good reason. He doesn’t want to date Calum, he doesn’t need the older man’s personal baggage and dealing with his feelings whenever they hook up. So, Calum definitely should just shove his feelings down and ignore him.

 

Luke is still looking at him, waiting for a response, so Calum scrambles to figure out something to say. “Yeah, well… why did she put the check down in front of you? Why did she automatically think you were the one paying?”

 

The blonde stares at him for a few seconds, just blinking, before the corner of his lips twist into a sly smirk. “Because… she knows I’m the top.” He says casually, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

 

Calum’s whole world stops, his fragile state of mind feeling like it was just shattered. So many thoughts race through his mind at a million miles per second.

 

_How fucking dare he? Who does he think he is? Why have I never thought to ask him if I could top? Why am I not excited by the thought of topping Luke? What about Luke says top and why does that make me the bottom? Why did I let him be seen as the top in her eyes? Do I need to act more masculine? Am I that obvious with my not-so-secretive school girl crush on Luke that she thinks I’m the girl in our relationship that doesn’t even fucking exist, but I honestly really wish did? Why am I more upset at the fact that I feel like she called out my so fucking obvious crush, and not the fact that she knew that Luke was the top?_

 

_Wait, how did Luke know that she knew he was the top?_

 

“Wait, what the fuck?” Calum says, finally verbalizing the storm of emotions in his mind right now. “How the fuck would she know that you’re the top?” Luke shrugs nonchalantly, taking a sip of his now flat soda.

 

“Because… I’m the bigger one, I’m the one that ordered your food… because I _am_ the top?” Luke laughs. Calum is seething in his seat, frustrated that the blonde is taking this so light-hearts .

 

“So? Just because you ordered my food doesn’t mean that you’re the top, or the man in the relationship!” Calum tries to assert himself, but he realizes how it kind of does, when thinking of stereotypes.

 

“Yeah, well… I’m not your boyfriend, either, so it doesn’t really even matter,” Luke reminds him, and for the second time during this late lunch, Luke’s words punch Calum in the guts. The bassist gapes back at the blonde, wanting to say something but he couldn’t even form words. It hit him like a ton of bricks, this obvious sign that Luke doesn’t reciprocate the feelings.

 

Luke doesn’t like him, and, of course, of fucking course, this realization makes Calum realizes something, too.

 

That he loves Luke.

 

Hearing the blonde say, point blank, they’re not in a relationship forces Calum to confront the emotions that he’s been wanting to hide. That he wants to be in a relationship, because Luke is the person he wants to be together forever with, because Luke is the reason he gets out of bed in the morning, because Luke is the inspiration for all of Calum’s dumbass songs that people like for some reason. It’s always been Luke, and Calum couldn’t have picked a worse time and place to realize this.

 

In the middle of a random Friday afternoon at some place called Tootsie’s Burger Joint.

 

Calum can feel heat spreading through his body, but not in the good way. It’s the kind that feels like all of his pores are opening up on his body and red-hot shame is seeping into his skin. He feels like he can’t see anything as his mind starts spiraling.

 

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m having an anxiety attack,_ it dawns on Calum, and he tries to breathe through his nose, but it’s starting to feel impossible with Luke’s eyes on him. The blonde raises his eyebrows at how Calum suddenly is no longer responding.

 

“Cal, you okay?” he questions, reaching across the booth to try to touch the brunette. He flinches away, suddenly bolting up and trying to get out of the booth. He trips a little bit, classic clumsy Calum, but he manages to get upright by placing his shaky hands on the table. His world is spinning, and he needs to be alone right now. He quickly searches for where the bathroom is and pinpoints it.

 

“Uh,” Calum shakily starts, hoping that clearing his throat will help. “Y-y-yeah, I’m f-fine. I, just, uh, r-r-really need the bathroom,” he barely gets out, bolting in the direction without explaining anymore to the blonde. As he rushes over to it in a daze, he bumps into the waitress, and it causes him to fall down onto his knees. He can feel himself trembling, and he can barely get back up on his own two feet. _I need to get out of here, God, just please get me to the bathroom_.

 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Sir,” the waitress innocently exclaims, but her voice feels like nails on a chalkboard to Calum. He brushes her off, mumbling a ‘it’s fine,’ before darting over to the bathroom.

 

God must have been looking down at him because the bathroom is a single person one, and it’s empty. Calum quickly locks the door behind him, before he crumbles down onto the floor and starts dry-heaving.

 

_Luke doesn’t love you. He hates you, all your relationship has just been pity. He fucks you because you’re worthless to him and he would never, ever, ever want to actually be your boyfriend. Husband has been out of the question from the start._

 

Calum doesn’t know when he started crying, but he realizes now when he starts vigorously rubbing his face in frustration and all he feels is wet skin. He can’t breathe, and his lungs are screaming for air. The only thing he can think of at the moment is to call Michael because the older man knows exactly what to do in these situations.

 

Ever since they started touring, Calum started to have these anxiety attacks whenever he started to get overwhelmed in several different ways. From fans crowding him to having sex, he’s had all sorts of them. Luke has helped him through quite a few (in fact, the one during sex was because Calum had forgotten their safe word) but there’s no way he can go to Luke now. He’s the reason he’s having the anxiety attack.

 

As he’s gotten older, he’s gotten better at dealing with his emotions, but now it seems as if all of his progress has been erased as he lays curled up on the floor, sobbing and struggling to breathe.

 

He tries, he tries so hard, to get his phone out of his pocket, and it takes him a solid couple of minutes for him to get a firm hold of it in his shaky hands, and it takes him even longer to actually unlock it and figure out how to call Michael. He presses call, and he begs to himself that the man will pick up. This is a really bad one, so bad that he can’t even roll over from where the suspicious puddle is right in front of him.

 

“What up, fucker?” Michael happily answers, and Calum whimpers at the sound of his voice.

 

“M-m-m-mikey,” he gets outs, and his throat is closing up now. Fuck, how did he let himself get this fargone for Luke?

 

Luckily, Michael picks up on what is happening. “Calum, are you having an anxiety attack?” He asks calmly and clearly, and Calum lets out a cry of happiness for Michael knowing already.

 

“Y-y-yes, Mikey, y-y-yes, p-please,” He pleads, not knowing what he even is begging for in his state of mind. All he can think about is how stupid he is for letting himself develop feelings for Luke, and for only just now noticing that he does. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

 

“Okay, Cal, I need you to breathe for me, okay? And remember the breathing exercises the therapist told you about?” The man on the phone keeps his cool, but on the inside he’s freaking out as well. He has no idea what caused his best friend to have this anxiety, hell, he has no idea where he is right now!

 

Calum nods, but he is present enough to realize that Michael can’t see him. “Y-y-yes, I-i do.”

 

“Okay,” Michael clears his throat. “Breathe in for me, 1… 2… 3… 4…” he starts, satisfied when he hears the deep breathe Calum is managing to take in. “Breathe out, 1… 2.... 3… 4…”

 

Calum is able to complete one full normal breathe, and that helps stabilize himself some. He now feels as if he can see, the fog in his mind slowly starting to dissipate as Michael calmly and evenly leads him through the breathing exercises his old therapist told him to use in moments like these. Michael continues repeating the exercises until Calum can actually talk, which takes over fifteen minutes. However, the bleached blonde couldn’t care less; he would spend hours calming down his best friend if that is what Calum needs.

 

“Are you good, buddy?” Michael asks after awhile of just listening to each other breathe, which is far more enjoyable when one of them couldn’t even breathe minutes before. Calum goes to nod, before he realizes he’s about to make the same mistake again.

 

“Y-yeah… I think I'm good,” He says slowly, his voice scratchy. He tries clearing his throat, but it hurts, so he stops. “Thank you so much, Mikey. I love you, man,”

 

He hears the older man laugh on the other end. “Of course, Cal. You’re my best friend, I would do anything for you. Besides, like, get my dick pierced,” Michael jokes to lighten the mood, and it works as he hears the Maori man’s laugh filter through the phone.

 

“Okay… well, I think I’m good to go. Now I gotta go face reality,” Calum awkwardly chuckles, and he hopes that the other man won’t ask him what triggered his anxiety attack.

 

“You can do it, bud. Call me if you need anything else, and I mean anything else. Love you, Cal,” Michael says, and Calum silently cheers that he picked up on how he didn’t want to talk about the cause.

 

“Love you, too. No homo, obviously,” Calum snickers.

 

“Obviously.”

 

It takes Calum awhile to get his bearings after he ends the phone call with Michael. He has to fix his hair, and wash his face, and figure out an explanation to give to Luke.

 

Luke.

 

 _Fuck, I really am still going to have to deal with this situation_ , Calum thinks to himself as he stares at his reflection. There was no denying something bad happen; his eyes were bloodshot, his shirt was all wrinkled up, his face was flushed. His first lie he conjures up is to tell Luke that he vomited. It seemed to sort of make sense, since people have to go to the bathroom to vomit. It could explain why he’s been in here so long. It can explain why he looks so gross right now.

 

_Okay, Calum. You got this. You threw up, you threw up some more, and then you tried making yourself look better. You feel better now, but you want to sleep it off, but you still want to go to the party. Luke will probably jump at the opportunity to say let’s not go to the party, but you’re still going to go because you deserve to party and take your mind off of this._

 

He thinks he got everything checked off, but then he remembers how Luke wanted to get ready together.

 

_Okay, there’s a way around that, too. Think… oh, I got it! I’ll say that Lincoln asked me to help set up, and so I’m gonna leave early, but I’ll just take an uber alone since Luke doesn’t like him and most likely won’t jump at the chance to help me help Lincoln. Okay, that’s a good lie, Calum. Got all of your bases covered, you can breathe normally now, you got this._

 

After this mini pep talk, Calum sets out to tell Luke.

 

~~~

 

It’s well into the witching hours when Calum decides he wants to go home. He’s walking out of the ocean, done swimming now that Michael and Crystal decided they wanted to make out and fornicate in the water. The bassist is in no mood to see people be cute and in love.

 

He’s drunk, he’s extremely drunk. He wanted to have fun, so when Ashton was pouring down the bottle of Hennesey down his throat, he didn’t stop him. When Michael challenged him to see who could handle more shots, he took on the challenge, and won at six. However, when Luke offered him the rest of his Jack and Coke, he politely declined, saying that he was too drunk. He was, but that wasn’t the reason he declined. He had been avoiding Luke all night, afraid he was going to say something stupid. While Calum got drunk enough to forget about the ordeal from this afternoon, he wasn’t drunk enough to forget that Luke is someone he shouldn’t be talking to right now.

 

So, with none of his friends in sight, Calum stumbles onto the sand to find his shit. He thinks he left it at the bar, so no one would steal anything. Calum knows that this is a private beach that Lincoln somehow rented out, so no one besides the party goers could be there, but Calum couldn’t help but be cautious. He’s had too many fans somehow steal his phone to ever trust the public again.

 

After a few seconds of searching, he locates the bar and claps excitedly. He runs over, stumbling over his own feet a few times, but he makes it there nonetheless. However, before he could catch the bartender’s attention, something catches his.

 

Across the bar, on the opposite side, is the one, the only, Luke Hemmings pressed up close against some little brunette girl. Calum gapes, watching at how obvious they’re flirting with each other. She was twirling her long hair in between her fingers, her back arched with her weight on one hip so it looked as if she were casually standing, but it was clear she was trying to show off her boobs. Luke seems very interested, one hand resting on the bar so he’s leaning into her, and his gaze not-so-subtly keeps drifting down to her boobs.

 

_Fucking asshole._

 

Calum tries to stop the intense wave of shame wash over his body, telling himself to breathe in and out before he starts to have another anxiety  attack. Luke is not going to ruin this night for him by flirting with some other girl. He made it abundantly clear that they’re not together, so they’re not exclusive. Calum definitely does not care anymore, and he’s over it.

 

(But he really does care, and he really isn’t over it.)

 

“Uh, excuse me?” Calum tries to get the bartender’s attention, trying to be loud enough to alert him but not loud enough to alert Luke. Luckily, the short man turns around, spotting him before walking over.

 

“Hello, sir! What can I help ya with?” He beams cheerfully, and Calum smiles at that. He needed that.

 

“Hi, I, uh, left my bag here? It’s like a neon green Nike bag and stuff…” He says, trying his hardest to not slur his words. It seems that he did a relatively good job, for the man nods with a smile, turning around and rummaging under the counter for a few seconds before pulling Calum’s bag at. He walks back over to the tan man, handing it to him with a smile. Calum gratefully accepts it, thanking him a million times. He eyes Luke one more time, the tall man still engrossed with the nameless woman’s chest, and he goes to the opposite side of the bar to sit down. He turns away from Luke, now facing the ocean. He sighs, breathing in the saltwater air before he opens his bag. He gets out his phone, ignoring all the notifications he has. The brunette goes to text the band groupchat, but he mainly just wants to notify Michael and Ashton that he’s leaving. Since Luke is obviously trying to take that girl home, he probably couldn’t care less where Calum is going.

 

The bassist tries to not let the thought sting as he types out ‘hey guys gonna head home now gonna call an uber because fuck drunk drivers.’ Or, at least, Calum hopes he’s able to text something at least semi-comprehensible that says the same thing in his drunken stupor.

 

It only just now hits him how cold he is. He’s still wet from the ocean, and it’s chilly outside. He shivers as he reaches into his bag, pulling out his towel, along with his shoes. He plops his sandals on the ground as he begins drying off, dragging the towel across his skin. Though it makes him a little less cold, drying off doesn’t really warm him up, and he stupidly forgot to pack a sweater. He pathetically thinks if Luke was there while he was packing to get ready, he would have reminded Calum to bring a sweater. All he has is his little tank top that’s not going to do jack shit.

 

He sighs miserably, shoving the towel back into his bag and taking out the shirt. He begrudgingly puts it over his head and over his body, the chill in his bones still there. Slipping his shoes on, Calum sets off to figure out how to get off of this beach and onto the sidewalk, where he will patiently wait for an Uber to get him.

 

He doesn’t get far before someone shouts in the distance ‘Calum!’ The tan man turns around, only to see Lincoln running up to him. He smiles at him, waving his hands around excitedly as the blonde man approaches him. When he finally gets in front of Calum, the bassist takes him in. He’s somehow 6’6, so he towers over Calum, with a wide, broad fame that accommodate all the muscles he has from playing football. He was wearing a sweater that said ‘University of Sydney’ on it, with some baggy black sweatpants. His blonde hair was dripping at his shoulders, but Calum assumes that Lincoln likes air drying his hair, since Luke likes to do the same.

 

“So glad I was able to catch you. You leaving?” He asks, putting his hands on Calum’s shoulder as he sees the man is swaying on his feet. He smiles as Calum looks up at him with a stupid grin on his face.

 

“Yeah, man, great party! It was so much fun!” Calum slurs, barely comprehensible but Lincoln was able to get the jist of it. He grins wider, as his hands drop from the man’s shoulders to his arms, where he feels how cold his skin is.

 

“Jesus Christ, Cal, you feel like a popsicle! Are you cold?” Lincoln questions, already taking off his sweater for the shorter man. Calum sluggishly nods, swaying again now that his friend’s hands are off of him. The blonde helps Calum put the sweater on, pulling it over his head and shoulders and finally getting it securely around his hips. The sweater was a little oversized on Lincoln, so it was very big on Calum. However, the brunette likes it, feeling like he’s being hugged all over by someone warm and someone that smells good.

 

“Mmm, what kind of body wash do you use?” Calum asks, smelling the fabric deeply. Lincoln laughs.

 

“I use Old Spice, man. I know it’s, like, sort of no better than Axe, but I think it’s funny how much they play into the whole ‘manly man’ marketing technique. Like, the bodywash I use is called Krakengard. How more stereotypically masculine can you get?” Lincoln jokes, and it causes Calum to laugh as if it was the funniest thing he’s ever heard. And with his clouded judgement and inebriated state, it just might be.

 

“Oh my god, Link, you’re so fucking funny! Krakengard? What the fuck even is that?” the bassist hollers, clutching his stomach. Lincoln wraps an arm around his waist when it looks like Calum is about to fall over, which it seems like he was because he crashes into Lincoln’s side. The blonde doesn’t mind, however. He adjusts Calum so that he’s properly resting his weight against the blonde.

 

“Cal, are you good on going home? Do you need me to take you home?” He asks worriedly, seeing how glazed over the brunette’s eyes are. Jesus, how drunk is he?

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, Linky-poo. I am good to go,” Calum confidently says, unraveling from around Lincoln and trying to show he can walk on his own. But, on his first step, he trips and ends up sprawled across the sand. He groans, his world spinning. Lincoln fondly rolls his eyes as he bends down to help his friend up, wrapping an arm around his waist again and helping him up.

 

“Okay, well, I’m definitely driving you home. You’re too drunk for an Uber at this point,” Lincoln declares. Calum shrugs, and at that moment his bag slips from his shoulder and onto the ground. Lincoln groans, somehow looping the strap around his foot and raising his leg to retrieve the bag before putting it on his shoulder. Calum smiles up at him gratefully.

 

They start walking in the direction of Lincoln’s car, which is quite a bit far down. They chat about life, about the party, about the new album, about Lincoln’s career. It was mainly Lincoln talking and Calum slurring his words, but it works.

 

However, all of sudden, Calum is pulled back, the man letting out a yelp as he spins into another solid chest. He groans, trying to push the offender off and he looks up. Fuck.

 

 _Luke_.

 

“Where are you taking him?” The younger blonde seethes, tightening his grip on Calum. The brunette is squirming, trying to get out of his hold. How dare Luke? How dare he flirt with that girl, and then suddenly drag Calum away from Lincoln?

 

“I’m taking him home, man, relax,” Lincoln says, putting his hands up innocently. Luke, who is also pretty drunk, practically snarls at him.

 

“No, you’re not. You’re not getting into his pants that fucking easy,” Luke declares, trying to keep Calum in his grip despite the man lightly hitting him. Lincoln’s eyebrows knit together, before he scoffs in disgust.

 

“In his pants? Dude, what the fuck? You think I’m trying to hook up with Calum? He’s clearly too drunk to even fight you off, how the hell could he possibly consent to me having sex with him?” Lincoln berates, frustrated in his friend’s bandmate would ever think that. Luke blinks at him, shocked that he was wrong. In his shock, Calum is finally able to push off the blonde, pressing his hands against Luke’s chest and shoving him backward. The guitarist does stumble back, shocked at how Calum was able to do so.

 

“What the fuck, Luke? What does it even matter if Lincoln was gonna fuck me? Not like you give a fuck!” Calum yells. Thankfully, the party has greatly dwindled down by now, so there’s hardly anyone on the beach to witness hisoutburst. The blonde stares at the Maori man, hurt starting to appear in his eyes.

 

“Yes, I do, Calum! I thought you said we were going to, you know, like, I was gonna get my reward for helping you!” Luke tries to say, not wanting to admit in front of Lincoln what his reward is. Calum scoffs.

 

“Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you clearly said there was nothing special between us, and you were practically eye-titty fucking that bitch at the bar!” Calum seethes, crossing his arms over his chest as he glares at the blonde. Luke’s jaw drops, the sentence hitting him like a ton of bricks.

 

“Calum, I… I didn’t realize that would have hurt your feelings! That wasn’t my intention!” He pleads, now realizing that he made his best friend upset.

 

“Well, it fucking did, Luke. It really fucking hurt, and it took me having to get this fucking drunk to finally realize that I don’t deserve to be treated like this!” Calum shouts, turning his back to Luke and walking back over to Lincoln.

 

“Cal, please, what does that even mean? I’m sorry, I-” Luke tries, but Lincoln cuts him off.

 

“Luke, I think it’s best if you both just tabled this conversation right now,” The older blonde says calmly, which infuriates the guitarist. “Look, you’re both pretty drunk, and I think it would just be best if I take Calum back to his home, make sure he gets in bed alright, leave,” He emphasizes the leave, looking incredulously at Luke. “And then you can talk about this tomorrow.”

 

“Well, what the fuck do you know, Lincoln? Aren’t you also drunk?” Luke bitterly asks, still looking at Calum’s back that’s turned to him. Lincoln doesn’t respond, so Luke looks at his face, only to see disgust.

 

“Jesus, Luke. I’ve been sober for five years now. I’m a recovering alcoholic. Maybe if you didn’t weirdly hate me for some reason, and actually got to know me, you would know I don’t drink, and I would never take advantage of someone who was drunk,” He spits out, before guiding Calum away without sparing another glance. Luke stands there, stupefied.

 

He watches helplessly as the two men walk away, and as Calum rests his head on Lincoln’s shoulder. He groans in frustration, pulling at his still wet hair and sinking to the ground.

 

_I just fucked everything up, didn’t I?_

 

~~~

 

It was a rough night, to say the least.

 

By the time Lincoln was able to get Calum into his car, the bassist had full on started sobbing. The blonde did his best to console him, but it proved difficult as he had no idea what was going on between the bandmates. So, he did what he could; be a shoulder to cry on.

 

He held Calum for what felt like hours in the car, and it was already somehow 3am by the time Lincoln started on the drive back to Calum’s house. It was a struggle for the older man to actually get into the house; collecting Calum out of the car, hoisting him up, finding his keys, unlocking the door, getting to his bedroom, and placing him on his bed took way longer than he thought it would. By the time he dropped Calum onto his bed, the man had passed out. Lilcoln rolled him onto his side, so if he were to throw up, he wouldn’t choke on his vomit. He places a trash can by Calum’s bed, and fills up his water bottle with water and places it on the bed. He digs around in the man’s medicine cabinet before pulling out some Advil and placing three by the water as well.

 

The sun was starting to peek through the windows by the time Lincoln decides to leave Calum’s house, but the older man didn’t mind. He recognized that Calum needed someone to do this, needed someone to help him keep him together. He’s obviously going to be checking up on the bassist tomorrow, or, technically, later today. But, he’s dog tired after the party, and also has to make sure that the beach is cleaned up and ready to go.

 

So, as Lincoln places a soft kiss on Calum’s forehead, and murmurs a ‘get better, soon,’ into his tan skin, the blonde man exits the house, and drives off into the sunrise.

 

~~~

 

The night proves to be even worse for Luke, somehow.

 

As he watched the two men walk off the beach, he touched his face and noticed that his face was wet, but he didn’t even feel the tears pouring down his face. In fact, he felt particularly numb. All he could do is sink to his feet, into the sand, and stare off into the ocean. He has no idea how long he was doing that; it could have been seconds, it could have been hours. But, eventually, Michael and Crystal ran up to him, completely oblivious to all that went down. The blonde tried to fake a smile, but it came out watery and obviously insincere. The couple frowned at him, and pestered him what was wrong. He said nothing, but it was so obviously something.

 

He trudged behind them as they walk to where they set their Uber to pick them up, and he  awkwardly sat in the front as they sit in the back. He stares silently at the window the whole duration of the ride back. They force him to stay with them, and Michael says they’re going to have a bro-cuddle until Luke feels better. Crystal left them to it, going upstairs as Michael hurriedly made a blanket fort like they were still in grade school. They stay up for a few more hours, watching Not Another Teen Movie twice because it was the band’s guilty pleasure. They stay cuddled up the entire night.

 

When Luke awoke that afternoon (he isn’t proud of himself for waking up at 2pm), his head was pounding and he could barely open his eyes from how the sunlight streaming into Michael’s home made his head hurt worse. Tons of natural light in a home is usually a bonus, but not in times like these.

 

Crystal had already been up and made the boys brunch, whipping up french toast and eggs and bacon. Luke wordlessly scarfs it all down as the couple curiously watches him. The first words that he has said since they found him on the beach was a small ‘thank you’ to Crystal after he was done eating. Her smile at that could light up the entire world.

 

She ends up driving him back the short distance to his house after they’re all done eating, giving him a hug when he left the car that reminded him of his mom. He trudged miserably back into his house, his mind still blank from all that has happened. He does the only thing he knows that will help him: write.

 

He writes. He gets out a pen and paper, and writes a letter to Calum. And he hopes, he hopes and he prays that this letter could repair all the mistakes he’s made, all the pain he’s caused, and all the wounds he inflicted onto Calum.

 

~~~

 

For the first time in a long time, it seems that Calum wakes up in his own bed. And, for the first time in an even longer time, it seems that Calum wakes up alone.

 

Immediately, the memories of last night filter into his mind, and it makes him sick to his stomach. Luckily, it seems as if someone put a trash can by his bed, so he graciously picks it up and vomits into it for awhile, clutching onto it as he trembles.

 

_I fucking hate vomiting._

 

Calum forces himself out of bed, feeling disgusting and knowing he needs to do some housekeeping after such a heavy night of drinking. He feels gross and sweaty, and he can smell the beach on himso he has to take a shower pronto. That also means his sheets probably smell, so needs to wash them. He just puked into his trashcan, so he needs to throw that out soon.

 

He miserably takes a shower, trying to keep his mind blank and thinking of his breathing exercises instead of last night. After a few hours, he was able to get all of the chores done. However, when he was going to throw out his, erm, _throw up_ , and when he opened his door, an envelope flutters down onto the ground in front of him. Someone must have put it on his door sometime after he got back. And once Calum picked it up, and saw the handwriting on the front that reads ‘Calum,’ he knows exactly who wrote it.

 

It was the last person he wanted to be receiving letters from right now.

 

~~~

 

_Dear Calum,_

 

_I really have no idea where to start right now, besides saying I’m so fucking sorry. I can’t even begin to describe the pain I felt when I realized I was causing you pain. I’m such a fucking asshole, and I know that now, which is obviously too late in the game because the damage has already been done._

 

_I think no one can deny that you’ve always been my favorite in the band. You’re the only reason why I’m in it; I didn’t want to do it because I wanted to stay in school and I didn’t really like Michael all that much yet and Ashton was some strange older kid that we barely knew. You were the one that pushed me to stay in the band, and I’m forever indebted to you for that._

 

_You’re my best friend, Cal. I can’t lose you because I was being dumb and I was being inconsiderate to you. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want to change so I can fix this. Please, let me fix this. From what I remember from our fight, you were upset because I was flirting with that girl, but then I got mad at you for wanting to go home with Lincoln in, like, a sexual way. I realize now how fucking stupid and hyprocritcal I was. I was being jealous without acknowledging how you felt in the situation. And, I realized how much of an asshole I have always been to Lincoln. I never paid attention to him when he talked about his recovery, or I didn’t know him well enough to know how good of a person he was. A way better person and friend to you than I was that night._

 

_So, Calum, please, please let me make this up to you. I can’t lose my best friend because of me being stupid. You know I love you, man, and I don’t want the complications of us hooking up to ruin our friendship._

 

_Yours forever, Lukey._

 

~~~

 

It feels like a stab in the heart.

 

It feels like a gentle caress and then a sudden snap in the neck.

 

It fucking hurts.

 

Calum has long since threw the letter across the room in a fit of sadness and despair, collapsing onto his bed as he sobs. He knows that the letter is suppose assuage his own anger and hurt, he knows Luke has nothing but good intentions, but all the letter does is make him feel awful.

 

It’s so clear that Luke doesn’t love him the same way Calum does him, and that breaks Calum.

 

He sobs, he sobs for what feels like hours when it was probably just a couple of minutes. This is all the confirmation that he needs that the past eight years of this band have been a joke. This shows how much of a fool Calum has been for years thinking that deep down, whether he ever wanted to admit it, he wanted to end up with Luke.

 

Stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

 

All Calum really took from the letter is how Luke wants to be ‘best friends.’ Nothing more. And he clearly is being earnest and honest in the letter, so that is how the blonde genuinely feels. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with Calum at all.

 

Calum does the only thing he can think of in this moment; he calls his sister. He calls Mali, and he begs her to come and drive him away from this house and this neighborhood that he and Luke both occupy. She does so once she hears the desperation and sadness in her brother’s voice, possibly breaking a few speed limits so that she can make it to Calum’s house faster. All he can do is just force some of his clothes into a bag, careful to make sure to avoid any and all clothing that reminds him of the blonde, and rushes out to her car.

 

It’s a silent drive to Mali’s house. One filled with a heavy, deafening silence that is occasionally interrupted by Calum’s sniffles and Mali’s turning signals. She carries his bags for him once they make it to Mali’s house. There’s a room in her house specifically for him, and he falls face first into the bed. As soon as his head hits the pillow, another wave of sobs rack over his body. All Mali could do in this situation is lay down by her brother, holding him close and stroking his curls as he cries.

 

A tornado of emotions are swirling through Calum’s mind as he lays there, protected in his big sister’s arms as he cries. A sense of peace being this close to his sister, for the first time in a long time, is somewhere in there. However, it is greatly hindered by the reason he’s here in the first place. The pain of rejection. The ache of heartbreak. The sense of stupidity. It all does a number on Calum, and his only response is to cry harder and to cling more to his sister.

 

Mali, the amazing woman that she is, remains patient with her brother. She’s dealt with this before; her poor brother has been heartbroken multiple times, starting from when he was seven and that little bitch Susie in the second grade said he was too smelly for them to date. This seems to be reaching a new level, however. She’s held him like this before, Calum’s body shaking in sobs. But, she’s never felt his breathing be this labored, and she’s never heard him murmur pleads of love and forgiveness into her skin. Mali has never seen Calum experience so many different emotions at once, and it terrifies her.

 

Who could have done this to her little brother?

 

~~~

 

It takes a full day of Calum moping about and not eating for him to finally tell Mali what happened. It takes a long time to do so; a few hours, to be exact. In his defense, this was Luke he was talking about. Luke, the man he’s been friends with since grade school, and has been in love with ever since, despite Calum not realizing it himself. Mali wants to say she’s shocked, but she really isn’t. She always knew there was something special about the bond those two boys share.

 

(She also did see that selfie those girls posted of them at the movies, matching hickies on their neck. Wasn’t too hard to come to a conclusion from that.)

 

She holds his hand as Calum tearfully confesses how he’s in love with Luke. She brushes away his tears as he tells her what the letter says. She holds him close as she whispers how everything will turn out right.

 

Mali is the one to suggest the break. She says that Calum is in no state of mind to be working on the album, let alone working alongside Luke. She suggests two weeks, while Calum was the one who actually asked for a month.

 

His manager grants it, after Calum pleads and says how he’s had two mental breakdowns in one day and needs to recover emotionally. Though he wasn’t exactly ecstatic for the writer of the band to take a hiatus for a month, he got over it once he realized how Calum will be writing out his feelings. So, in the end, no time will be lost.

 

The rationale pisses Calum off, but he doesn’t complain. He got his month off.

 

He stays with Mali, enjoying her one story beach house that she saved up for years to buy. He hardly ever touches his phone now, forgoing all of social media and entertainment to going out to the beach and writing all of his feelings out.

 

It was a bitch trying to explain to the band why he needed to take this break. Well, for Michael and Ashton, it was pretty easy. But for Luke, it was difficult. So, unbelievably, unimaginably difficult. Luke had already texted him a million times when Calum looks at his phone for the first time after he tells Mali everything.

 

_Calum please respond_

_I miss you_

_I know you read the letter_

_I saw mali pick you up so i know youre alive please respond_

_Calum i know i fucked everything up but please respond_

 

Seeing all the desperate texts Luke is sending every couple of minutes breaks Calum’s heart all over again. It causes a new batch of tears to pour down his face, and his vision is blurry as he types back the only response he plans on giving Luke for the rest of the month.

 

 _I need some time_.

 

~~~

 

For the first time in their relationship, it’s finally Luke who spends hours upon days thinking of Calum. He can’t get the Maori man out of his head as he gloomily tries to go back to his life without his best friend in it.

 

It’s painful driving by Calum’s house everyday, knowing that he’s the reason that the bassist had to leave and go on a hiatus from the band. It’s all his fault. There’s no one else to blame but himself.

 

So, it’s not surprising the blonde turns to the bottle every once and awhile. Not enough to be a problem, but just enough that it’s a little concerning.

 

It starts once their manager informs them that Calum is taking a break. Their manager is the one telling them, not even the bassist himself, and that sets Luke off. Immediately following that meeting, he buys himself two bottles of whiskey, drives home, and just drinks miserably as he stares at Calum’s house. He at least is smart enough to never drink and drive, but he hardly leaves his house and drives anywhere to begin with.

 

And, unsurprisingly, now, whenever he gets drunk, he texts and calls Calum.

 

He has no shame in texting the bassist at any hour of the day, but he never gets a response. The only bit of hope he has in Calum ever forgiving him is the fact that he still can drunk call and text him; the Maori man still hasn’t blocked him. Even through all of Luke’s annoying antics, he lets the blonde try to reach him still, yet he never dignifies him with a response.

 

Whenever Luke sobers back up, he feels an immense amount of shame at the pathetic messages he lives Calum, all begging the man to forgive him and let them be best friends again. However, the shame never deters him from doing it again, and again…

 

And again.

 

~~~

 

Luke has a revelation two weeks into not having his Calum by his side. In fact, the revelation is caused by him thinking ‘it’s been two weeks since not having my Calum by my side.’

 

As the blonde sips from another bottle of whiskey, he thinks to himself why would he say _his_ Calum. He doesn’t own Calum, the brunette has certainly made that clear. After not responding to him for two weeks, Luke doesn’t know how he will ever repair his relationship with Calum.

 

He then starts to think that, if, miracuously, if he was ever able to repair it, what does he want from it? Obviously, something isn’t working, and that’s why they’re in this position in the first place. He has to own up to it and think of how he can make it better, but what does he even want?

 

He wants it all still. He wants to be Calum’s best friend, he wants to be the one that Calum goes to in times of trouble and anguish. However, with each passing day, Luke no longer likes how he defined their relationship in the past. He doesn’t like saying ‘hooking up’ anymore with Calum because those moments mean so much more to him than just a casual hook up. He dares think of Calum as his ‘lover’ and not just his ‘friend with benefits,’ and this new classification causes butterflies in his stomach (and it’s not from the whiskey.)

 

Lover. Lover. _Lover_ . Calum as his _lover_.

 

What does it mean? What would it mean to have Calum as his lover? Where would that take their relationship? At this point, it’s safe to assume that Calum would want them to be exclusive if they ever repair their relationship. And Luke is fine with that! He obviously got upset when the prospect of Calum taking another man home, since he snapped at Calum in the way that caused this whole mess.

 

It was never really said before, mainly because Luke didn’t really have the urge for someone else until that girl Vanessa started batting her eerily similar brown eyes at him.

 

(He always had a thing for brown eyes.)

 

Luke shakes his head, putting the bottle down. So, what does he do with this new exclusive title? Wouldn’t that just mean that they’re… dating?

 

The thought makes Luke gasp a little, sinking back into his couch. Dating… him dating Calum… It makes his heart pound a little faster, and he can feel a blush creep up onto his cheeks. He’s never thought of dating Calum, but he sure did get a rush of adrenaline at the thought. What would it be like? Cuddling every night, eating all their meals together, unrestricted and readily avaiable sex…

 

And then, that’s when it hit Luke. They’ve been doing that all along.

 

They practically were dating!

 

The realization makes Luke’s head spin. Is, is that why Calum got so upset? Could it be all chalked up to some silly miscommunication? Luke feels joy blossom inside of him, thinking that maybe coming clean about them dating to Calum. He certainly wouldn’t mind! He likes Calum, and, if he’s really being honest with himself, he feels as if the love he has for Calum is a little bit deeper than the love he has for Michael and Ashton. Maybe it’s always been that way, and Luke was just too complacent and stupid to notice.

 

However, before Luke was able to truly feel happy about this revelation, an evil little voice in the back of his head says: _what if that is the reason Calum is avoiding you? What if he doesn’t want to date, and that’s why he’s run off?_

 

The thought punches him in the face and kicks him in the groin. It’s all too much at once, and it makes Luke want to vomit.

 

(That could also just be copious amounts of whiskey he’s been consuming recently, but it’s probably the revolting thought of Calum not loving him.)

 

_Calum not loving him._

 

It’s a thought that makes his head spin and his palms sweaty and his eyes well up with tears. That has to be the reason, isn’t it? Calum realized Luke’s feelings before he even did, that night at the beach, and it ruined everything! Because… Calum doesn’t love him. Why would he love him, when Luke doesn’t even treat him right? He must have realized that Luke loves him, but then compared it to how he’s always treated him.

 

Luke constantly teases him, and he humiliated him in front of that waitress. It's so painfully obvious now that Calum didn’t throw up at that burger joint. He was probably in there upset that Luke was treating him like shit and made fun of him for being the bottom. Luke knows that Calum is sensitive for some reason about being the bottom; always has, and always will. Well, maybe not anymore will he be sensitive towards Luke about being a bottom because it seems their relationship, whether it be sexual or romantic or platonic, is over.

 

And, with that thought reverberating in Luke’s mind, is what causes the blonde for the first time in years to cry over a relationship.

 

~~~

 

It’s coming up on the end of Calum’s hiatus. He’s written an entire journal of sad songs that he knows their manager will eat write up, but that’s not what he cares about. He cares about the fact that their band is never going to be the same because he was stupid and fell in love. Calum has been raking his brain on how he’s ever going to face Luke after this.

 

It’s Mali’s idea to go out and actually have some fun. It was supposed to be a fun Hood family outing. They were going to go to some upscale bar they can get into because of Calum’s celebrity status. It was a bar they wouldn’t have to worry about paparazzi or any random fans.

 

So, that is where Calum finds himself now. At the bar, nursing his third vodka soda, while Mali was off somewhere undoubtedly surrounded by several men vying for her attention.

 

Calum has tucked himself away in the back of the bar, the chair closest to the exit. He promised Mali that he was going to have fun, but after the first vodka soda he just got depressed. He didn’t even want to dance with anyone else because he just kept thinking about Luke. How he wants his big hands on his hips, gripping him in that domineering way that Calum refuses to admit he likes. He wants to hear Luke’s deep melodic voice whispering things in his ear that makes him weak in the knees. He wants it all back.

 

And, the reason he’s drinking in sadness is because he knows he can’t have it all back.

 

Things are never going to go back to normal. There will be no more meals together, no more playful touches, no more making out, no more sex. It’s probably going to be now a business relationship from now on. They’ll hang out no more than is required. He’ll probably avoid Calum as much as possible, and they’ll no longer have band outings because Luke won’t be able to stand spending so much time with him.

 

Someone brushes past him, interrupting his negative train of thoughts and causing him to pull his head out of his hands. He sees many people rushing by him, looking as if a huge group of friends just walked in. He smiles lightly, thinking of how he used to go bar hopping with the boys when they were younger. Seems stuff like that won’t be happening again.

 

Calum looks down at his drink, clutching the glass in his hands. In his inebriated state, it seems as if the drink is fizzing a bit. It would make sense that it would, for it’s a vodka _soda_ , but it’s a vodka soda he ordered twenty minutes ago. It’s already gone flat, so why is it fizzing again?

 

Calum ignores the paranoid thought, chalking it up to him just being too drunk. Even though he’s just a little tipsy, it’s not uncommon for him to imagine things. So, he downs the small amount of the liquid in one gulp, groaning at the bitter taste.

 

“God, why do I still bother with vodka?” He mumbles to himself, rubbing his face. He feels the familiar warm buzz in his chest from drinking alcohol, and he relaxes his shoulders.

 

He goes to pull out his phone, about to text Mali that he was just going to go home, but suddenly he felt light headed. No big deal, Calum initially thinks. He continues to try to get his phone out of his pocket, but it feels like his arms are turning to jelly. His vision crosses, and he feels himself shaking.

 

His eyebrows knit together in confusion, not sure what is happening to his body. He feels extremely disoriented all of a sudden, and he doesn’t think it could be from being too drunk. He’s definitely drank far more than he has tonight, so he doesn’t know what could be causing this weird reaction. That’s when it hits Calum.

 

He’s been drugged.

 

He’s not stupid; their manager has talked them through this exact scenario many times. Being a celebrity meant having to deal with crazy people who would do this. However, Calum can barely remember what his manager told him is the correct moves to make in this scenario as he finally gets his phone out. He can really only think of one thing.

 

Luke. He thinks of Luke. He’ll know what to do.

 

Calum can already feels tears of fear welling up in his eyes, and his tongue feels like lead in his cottonmouth. He can barely unlock his phone, and it’s a miracle that he’s able to open up the texting app. There’s a brief moment of hesitation, where Calum thinks that Luke will ignore him, will turn him away in his moment of need. But this is all Calum can think to do, so he has to.

 

_Luke please help me I’m at a bar and I got drugged_

 

Calum thanks his lucky stars because his phone immediately starts ringing with Luke’s name bright on the screen.

 

“Calum, What the fuck? Are you serious?” Luke’s voice booms through the phone, worry painfully evident in his voice. Calum whimpers at the sound, having not heard Luke in over three weeks now.

 

“Y-y-yes, I feel like I’m about to pass out,” Calum barely gets out. He grips onto the bar itself as he feels a wave of nausea wash over him. “Please, Lukey, I don’t know what to do,”  

 

“Okay, Cal, baby, listen to me carefully. Can you do that for me?” The blonde says through the phone, and all Calum can do is whimper in response. His vision feels like it’s being distorting, and he feels severely disoriented. “Okay, keep me on the phone. Go to the bartender, and tell them that you just got drugged. Tell them that I’m on the other line, and I’m on my way. Ask to be let behind the bar. Okay?” Calum nods his head, muttering a yes as he tries to get to his feet. However, he stumbles over and falls to the ground. Luckily, a bartender does notice him, and rushes over.

 

“Excuse me, sir, are you alright?” The woman asks, her green eyes filled with worry. Calum rolls over onto his back as he still clutches the phone to his ear.

 

“I-I-I think I’ve been drugged,” He whines, feeling like he was going to black out any second. The woman gasps, calling over other bartenders to help her get Calum off the floor. He doesn’t let his grip of the phone faulted, keeping it pressed to his ear as Luke updates him on where he is.

 

Through the mist and the fog of the drug, one thing rings clear: Luke’s voice.

 

~~~

 

The next hour felt like it was a dream sequence. Or, more like a nightmare.

 

Calum sitting on the floor behind the bar, bartenders rushing around him, making him drink water and making sure his pulse is up. Someone called an ambulance. Somewhere through the disorientating sensations and feelings, he feels a familiar touch, and a familiar shade of blue eased some of Calum’s nerves. He remembers getting lifted up and placed on some sort of bed, and he remembers flashing lights. But most importantly, he remembers a hand holding his tightly the entire time.

 

For the next couple of hours, Calum drifts in and out of consciousness as people buzz all around him and he’s moved all about. He lets himself slip in and out, not wanting to fight the pull of sleep. He knows that deep down, because he involved Luke, and because Luke did come, that everything will be alright.

 

~~~

 

For Luke, the whole ordeal was awful, stressful, and nerve wracking. Rushing to the bar, begging the first responders if he’s going to live, holding his hand in the ambulance, it was all so much. Calum kept falling in and out of sleep, and each time he did, Luke worried it was going to be the last time the bassist would wake.

 

He still has so much to say, so much left to do with his bandmate. It can’t all end because of some asshole who drugged Calum.

 

After they made it to the hospital, and after Luke embarrassingly has to lie and say they’re engaged to see Calum, the doctors assure him Calum will be fine. They say someone must have slipped this new type of roofie in his drink that makes the victim delirious and knocks them unconscious for hours after being infested. The police come soon after, telling Luke that they are tracing back how Calum was drugged and will also be using security footage from the bar to find out who did it. They applaud him for being there for his ‘fiancé’ (which causes Luke to blush hard.)

 

Luke feels guilty when he answers Calum’s phone when Mali starts calling, her voice choked up as she thought the worse, and the worse did happen. She herself got to the hospital and made it to Calum’s room, crying while she held his hand. Luke awkwardly left then.

 

After a few more hours of checking Calum’s vitals, they say he’s fine to go home, but he’s still going to be out of it. They warn Luke, saying that he’s going to be needing a lot of fluids and a lot of water when Calum is fully alright again, which he should after a solid eight hours of sleep. Luke writes this all down, not wanting to mess up a single bit of it.

 

Mali, for some reason, lets Luke take Calum home, even though there was some apprehension there. She said that she knew they needed to talk through some things that she shouldn’t be there for. She kissed Calum’s forehead goodbye, and gave Luke’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze and a knowing Luke. He doesn’t really know what all of that means, but he’s grateful that his not-so-secret-crush’s sister bestowed the honor of taking care of Calum in this state.

 

He wheels Calum out to their Uber, carefully putting him in as he discards the wheelchair. He’s a strong man, he can carry Calum back to his house. However, the thought makes a quick flash of pain hit him. Would Calum even want him to be there when he wakes up? Would it cross another line for him to have the bassit sleep in Luke’s bed? All these questions nervously swirl through his head as he wraps an arm around Calum’s still asleep form. He hopes that they’re not making the driver uncomfortable. He probably didn’t expect to be giving a ride to two grown men where one of them is passed out from coming from a hospital.

 

When they arrive at Luke’s house, his worries and stresses of Calum not wanting to see him goes out the window; he can’t let Calum be alone when he wakes up, and he doesn’t have Calum’s key. So, he calmly gets Calum out of the Uber, leaving the guy a $50 tip for dealing with them, and heads into his house. Once upstairs, he gently places the boy down on the bed. He puts him under the covers, tucking him in. Luke can’t help himself when he leans down and leaves a kiss on Calum’s plump (and dry at the moment) lips. His mouth has always been a little too tempting and inviting, and after being denied it for three weeks, Luke can’t help himself.

 

He fills all the water bottles he finds in the house with water, and brings them up to his room. He gets a trashcan and places it by Calum, along with some of the painkillers the hospital also gave him. It’s 7 am at this point the following day, and Luke finally pauses for a moment, letting himself destress from the traumatic events that have occurred tonight. It’s when he does this that he realized how exhausted he is. He still feels like a dejected puppy, not sure if Calum would want to wake up by him. Luke decides to play it safe.

 

He gets a blanket, curls up on the little loveseat he placed in his bedroom mainly for decoration, and lets his eyes slip close.

 

Calum is safe. Calum is safe. Calum is safe.

 

These thoughts comfort him as he quickly descends into slumber.

 

~~~

 

When Calum wakes up, he feels like he’s waking up for the first time in 100 years. It’s hard for his eyes to adjust to the light, and he feels disoriented, and he can’t remember where he’s even supposed to be waking up. He groans loudly, rubbing his aching face. In fact, his whole body aches, feeling as if he just worked out for twenty four hours straight. He tries to get up, his eyes scratched up, when he hears rustling around him. Once he finally can open up his eyes, he’s met with a sight that makes his heart ache as well.

 

Luke. With an awkward little smile and a waterbottle in his hand.

 

“Luke?” Calum lets out, and speaking makes him realize how dry his throat is. Apparently, it was obvious that his throat hurt because Luke shoves the waterbottle in front of him, and Calum graciously accepts it, chugging half of it in just a few gulps. Luke stares at him the entire time, and Calum tries not to blush.

 

After he’s done drinking, his setting finally start to settle in. He’s in Luke’s very familiar bedroom, and it seemed like it was afternoon based off of how the shadows in his bedroom were. Calum rubs his head, feeling a headache forming. Before he knows it, Luke is handing him some pills.

 

“Here, the hospital said that these will help,” he sheepishly says, avoiding eye contact now. Calum gasps as the memories or last night start to filter in, from the bar to being drugged to panicky calling Luke to the blonde being there for him in the emergency room. He still takes the pills, taking a swig of water as he stares at Luke. Once he swallows, he goes to speak.

 

“Luke, I’m so sorry-”

 

“Calum, don’t even try that. None of this is your fault,” Luke cuts him off, sitting down at the foot of the bed. Calum kind of wishes he was closer. “The doctors say that there’s been an outbreak of people being drugged with what you were recently in Sydney, and they’re still trying to figure out who is giving it out and how to stop it. They say there’s no long term effect, it just makes you really drowsy and sleepy for the following twenty four hours.” Luke stares at Calum, and the brunette swears he can see his eyes watering.

 

Before he could comment, Luke scoots down the bed amd wraps Calum up in a hug, a sob escaping him. Calum is shocked, wrapping his own arms around the blonde as he feels Luke shake. “God, fuck, Calum, I was so scared. I was so fucking scared that I was going to lose you and you were going to die hating me and I would lose the most important person in my life,” Luke barely gets out, his voice croaking in the heart breaking way it does whenever the blonde cries.

 

At that, Calum starts crying, too. He clings onto the blonde, soaking his sweatshirt with his own tears. The reality and gravity of the situation starts to sink in on Calum; he could have gotten kidnapped, or raped, or killed last night. And it was only through the valiant efforts of Luke that he’s safe and sound in the blonde’s room now.

 

“T-t-thank you so much, Lukey,” Calum stutters out, his own voice betraying him. He feels the blonde squeeze him that much tighter.

 

“Of course, you know I’d do anything for you, Cal,” Luke whispers, trying to stop the tears from falling. “I, uh, also, um, wanted to talk to you about, everything else that has happened.”

 

Calum freezes, fear creeping up his spine. Oh God. _This is the moment Luke tells me that he hates me and doesn’t even want to be friends._ He squeezes Luke one last time, like it is the last time he’ll be able to do so. He unwraps himself from the man’s strong build, and casts his eyes down. He rubs at his eyes, staring at his still trembling hands. “O-okay.”

 

“Listen, Calum, I know I’ve been an asshole and I messed everything up. But, I just, I just have been trying to figure out my feelings, and I think I figured out yours, too.”

 

_Here it is. The final blow._

 

“And, I know that you don’t like me in a romantic way, but I do, and I recognize you don’t want to do anything exclusive…” Luke trails off as Calum snaps his head up, a blush darkening his cheeks.

 

“Wait, what? You don’t think I like you in, like, a romantic way?” Calum questions with clear disbelief in his voice. Luke awkwardly nods.

 

“I mean, yeah, why else would you not respond to my texts, or get mad at me for me not wanting you to hook up with Lincoln? You don’t return my feelings, and that’s okay! I can deal with it on my own, but I can’t handle losing you, Cal,” Luke begs, but he knits his eyebrows together in worry when the brunette starts shaking his head.

 

“No, no, no, Luke, you’ve got this all wrong!” Calum says, his voice exasperated. Luke raises his eyebrows in confusion. “I’m the one that likes you, and you’re the one that doesn’t return my feelings! I thought all of your texts were about how you were going to reject me, and I was just trying to delay the inevitable!” Luke gapes back at him as he tries to piece this all together.

 

“So you’re saying… you like me?” He says aloud, but saying ‘like’ makes him feel like a third grader. However, he doesn’t want to say love because he doubts Calum is at the level, despite him being on that level for Calum.

 

“Yeah, I mean…” Calum takes a deep breath, before looking at him in the eyes for the first time during this talk, vulnerability and worry evident in his eyes. “I think… I… um… love you,” He says quickly as a blush deepens the coloring of his cheeks. Luke gasps, a hand covering his mouth.   


“Calum, I swear to god if you’re messing with me right now…” Luke warns, not believing it. They couldn’t both have been so stupid, right? Calum has to be joking around, thinking it was funny to mess with his heart like this.

 

“Luke, I swear I’m not! I… you kept saying that we weren’t dating, and it felt like everytime you did I wanted to date you more, and then that day at Tootsie’s I realized how I’m actually in love you, and then I just got freaked out and I thought you didn't want to be with me because then I saw you flirting with that girl…” Calum rushes out, only taking a breath at the very end as Luke looks at him shocked. The bassist drops his eyes again, not wanting to look into the blonde’s hypnotizing eyes.

 

“God, are you telling me that we both were just stupid?” Luke questions, and it causes both of them to laugh, Calum sheepishly nodding his head. Just when he goes to look up at Luke again, the blonde is lunging at him, pressing him down into the bed as the blonde kisses him. Calum gasps, and that only causes Luke to push his tongue into the man’s mouth as they both desperate moan.   


“I love you, too, Calum Hood. Love you so fucking much,” Luke murmurs against the Maori man’s plump lips, and in turn, the brunette moans wantonly.

 

“Fuck, I love you so much that it pains me. Causes my heart to start beating faster when you walk into the room or you even look at me,” He moans out as Luke starts trailing kisses down his neck. Calum whines as the blonde bites at his jugular, his fingers threading through Luke’s blonde hair. “Love you so much that all of my fucking songs are about you,”

 

Luke pauses, as Calum regrets saying that as he can already feel the shit-eating grin that will be on Luke’s face form against his neck. The blonde lifts his face to look at the brunette’s still-blushing face. “You write all your songs about me?”

 

Calum groans, putting a hand over his eyes in embarrassment. “Yes, okay! I never thought about it until Ashton kept pestering me about it, and that was my first clue that maybe you were more than just a fuckbuddy to me.” He says defeatedly. He’s surprised when Luke leaves a sweet peck on the lips, and he moves his fingers to one eye can stare incredulously at the blonde.

 

He’s smiling down at him, and it makes Calum’s heart flutter. “Well, I’ve always written my songs about you, too. I just kinda thought it was normal, so I never said anything,” He whispers before going down Calum’s neck again. That causes the brunette to smile as he wraps his arms around Luke’s neck, pressing him further into the spots that Luke knows makes him weak.

 

“Fuck, I love you, I love you, I love you,” Calum repeats giddily, and he can hear Luke laugh.

 

“I love you, too, baby,” Luke says, his hands straying down from Calum’s waist to his hips. He pauses, and Calum frowns at that. He removes his head from the column, and looks at Calum seriously. “Wait, Calum, do you want to go any further? I understand if you don’t, considering all of what happened last night…”

 

Calum doesn’t let Luke finish his thought as he brings his mouth up to kiss Luke’s. “Of course I want to go further. You protected me, you saved me. I need you right now,” he murmurs, and Luke groans happily at that. “Plus, I still think I owe you a reward…”

 

Luke’s eyes widen at that, and he soon starts stripping them both. “Fuck, you mean it, babe?”

 

Calum smiles when Luke pulls off his shorts. “I sure do, daddy.” 

**Author's Note:**

> hello again! I hope you enjoyed the fic! I’m working on some other (mainly cake) fics, so be on the lookout! have a great day!


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